In Our Heads

Chapter 43

*****

Cassian leapt forward without thinking about it to grab Theodore's wrist.

He let himself fall back using his entire weight. In the split-second Theodore's hand left the pole, he had concluded that moving was better than doing nothing because this way at least there was a chance of a different outcome.

He was right.

Directly after his back slammed into the concrete, Theodore's shoulder smashed into his chest causing him to grunt in pain as the air was knocked from his lungs. It was more concerning that Theodore had not seemed to get a fright when he felt himself fall from the ledge, only making a sound once they had landed on the roof.

Cassian had never been more scared in his entire life than in those few seconds.

He shut his eyes feeling the wind blow across the cold tear-streaks that ran down his cheeks and temples as Theodore rolled off him, settling beside him.

When Cassian looked over, he saw Theodore face-down, his face hidden in his arms as shouts came from people Cassian had not even realised were on the roof. He pushed himself to sit up, wiping the tears from his face and turned to Theodore.

"Theo? Are you okay?"

"Why are you here?!" Theodore's reply was an angry, muffled hiss before he shoved himself into a sitting position to glare at Cassian, but he looked more pained than angry.

"Because I had to be. Because you're here," Cassian replied.

Theodore shook his head and covered his face as he let out a deep, struggled sob that made Cassian's heart shatter.

"I-I don't want to be here if he doesn't wake up."

Cassian leaned into him, his hands resting on Theodore's forearms gently.

"But you have to be here if he does."

He didn't receive a reply and figured it was because Theodore knew that was right. No matter how confused and angry he was, no matter how grief-stricken he was, he had to know Zion would be shattered if he woke up and Theodore was no longer there.

"We're going to need you to come with us."

Cassian ignored the guards as he moved to hug Theodore's shaking frame. He leaned his face close to Theodore's, hiding their faces behind his arms as he whispered.

"It's going to be okay, Theo."

Theodore shook his head again.

"I-I can't. I shouldn't – I can't take care of him. I couldn't... I couldn't help him; I should have been – b-but –"

"It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong and if you feel like you're the reason he is where he is, don't you owe it to him to stay here instead of running away?" He was just saying whatever he could to keep Theodore from heading right back to the ledge if he got a chance.

If making him feel guilty prevented him from trying to hurt himself, then Cassian would keep making him feel that way. Though, he had no intention of leaving Theodore alone for a second, so trying to hurt himself again was going to be hard.

"Have you seen him?"

Theodore's head shook again.

"I'm... scared... of what they'd say...." his voice was barely audible as he let out a strained breath.

"Me too... But he's asleep, alive. He's okay," he hoped the doctors were right. He hoped Zion was okay. "Should we go to the hospital?"

A few minutes passed before he felt Theodore nod.