A Tale of Wretched Occurrences: The Beginning

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓕𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓷

“It’s afternoon. And you’re Count Olaf.” Klaus argues.

“Perhaps one of you can take my suitcases up to my room,” Count Olaf continues in a ridiculous accent. “The ride along that smelly road was dull and unpleasant, and Stephano is very tired.”

“If anyone deserves to travel along Lousy Lane, it’s you,” you say coldly.

“We will not help you with your luggage. We will not let you into this house.” Violet’s voice takes on its icy water tone.

Klaus moves to slam the door, but Count Olaf takes out a knife and stabs it between the door and the door frame, blocking him. He forces his way inside. He points the knife at the four of you and begins to walk towards you. You keep your eyes on the knife as you back away from him.

“Well,” he says in his normal voice, “I see you haven’t changed a bit. Violet, you’re obviously as stubborn as ever. Klaus, you’re still wearing those idiotic glasses.” He continues to brandish the knife, forcing you to walk up the stairs. “Millie, you’re even more shrimpy than I remember. And I can see little Sunny here still has nine toes instead of ten.”

“Uh oh!” Sunny babbles, which means, “Uh oh!”

“What are you talking about?” Klaus says, confused. “My sister has ten toes, like the vast majority of people.”

“Really? That’s odd. I could’ve sworn that she lost one of her toes in an accident. I seem to recall a man named Stephano was so confused by the Baudelaire brats calling him Count Olaf that he accidentally dropped his knife on one of her little feet and severed one of her toes.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Violet hisses.

“Let’s not discuss what I would or would not dare do. Instead, let’s discuss your poor, unfortunate parents.” Count Olaf taps the picture of the piano with his knife. “Your father and mother were very brave in their days. But…” he wiggles his fingers to imitate flames. “Their days are done, Baudelaires.”

“That’s not a photo of our parents,” you spit.

“What?” Count Olaf drops his menacing tone as he gestures to the photo, confused. “Yes it is. They’re inside the piano.”

“How do you know that?” Klaus asks suspiciously.

“I took the picture,” he growls, his voice becoming low and dangerous once again. “And now, all that’s left of them is their enormous fortune. And that enormous fortune is mine.”

“Never,” Klaus says, with more bravery than he’s probably feeling.

“Never is a very long time. And your ridiculous uncle will be back in a few seconds.”

The screeching iguana clock chimes. The iguana pops out between you and Count Olaf. He shrieks, jumping backwards. You and your siblings run for the stairs, but Count Olaf grabs Klaus’s wrist, yanking him backwards. You take Klaus’s other wrist and try to pull him away. After several tense seconds, you and Klaus manage to free his arm, and you all run down the stairs. Just as you reach the bottom, Klaus pauses and turns around, snatching something off of the stairs. Then he’s off again, following you and Violet into the Reptile Room. Count Olaf, who ran down the other staircase, stands in the hallway behind you and throws his knife. He aims it right at you, but you’re able to close the door mere seconds before it makes contact. You hear him pounding on the door, but thankfully, it holds.

“H– how did he find us?” Violet stutters.

“That’s the wrong question,” Klaus says. “What we need to be asking is how do we get out of here?”