A Tale of Wretched Occurrences: The Beginning

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓔𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓷

You, Klaus, Violet, and Sunny regroup in the hallway after finally changing out of your pajamas.

“I can’t believe Count Olaf tricked Mr. Poe so easily.” You sigh. “Even Sunny is smarter than that. No offense,” you add quickly.

“Voo be,” Sunny babbles, which means, “None taken.”

“What I don’t understand is how he got rid of his tattoo,” Klaus says.

“It’s a very painful procedure,” Violet tells him.

“Good news,” Mr. Poe announces once you’re downstairs. “I managed to reach the local sheriff’s department. It seems there’s an escaped cow from the nearby dairy farm giving them the runaround, but they assured me they’ll send someone as soon as they’re able.”

There’s the sound of tires screeching outside, followed by the doorbell.

“They must have made quick work of that cow,” Mr. Poe says, impressed.

He opens the door to a sloppily dressed nurse. “May I help you, ma’am? Uh. Sir?”

“I’m Nurse Lucafont,” the nurse introduces themself in a fake high-pitched voice.

“Nurse Lucafont!” Count Olaf exclaims. “From the local sheriff’s department’s medical examiner’s office?”

“From the local…” the nurse begins. “Um, I hear there’s been a terrible accident. Involving a snake.”

“Hm. That was fast. I only just now made the call,” Mr. Poe says, a hint of doubt in his voice.

“I believe… speed is of the essence in an emergency. Sir.”

“Mm,” Sunny grunts, which means, “I’m suspicious.”

“They’re definitely not from the local sheriff’s department’s medical examiner’s office,” you agree.

“Could I get a cup of coffee?” Nurse Lucafont asks loudly, sounding exhausted.

“Don’t you want to examine the body?” Count Olaf prompts.

“Oh. Yes. The body. Lead the way.”

“It’s right over here, in the Reptile Room.” Count Olaf and Nurse Lucafont walk over to the door.

Klaus follows them. He clears his throat. “Excuse me, but why are you wearing that mask over your face?”

“I heard there were reptiles. They- they might be contagious.” Nurse Lucafont explains, glancing over at Count Olaf.

“Reptiles aren’t contagious,” Klaus replies doubtfully. “Are you sure you’re a qualified nurse?”

“Maybe the children should wait outside,” Count Olaf suggests quickly. “Being in a room with a dead body could be very traumatic.”

“We’ve already been in a room with a dead body thanks to you,” Violet says tonelessly.

“Oh, yes, thank you, Stephano, for that excellent point,” Mr. Poe agrees. “I must say, you show genuine compassion for these children.”

Count Olaf smiles. “I appreciate it. Perhaps I could wait out here with the children while you and Nurse Lucafont go in and examine the body.”

“The body?” Mr. Poe asks, looking apprehensive. “Ah, yes, well, perhaps we should both stay with the children.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want Nurse Lucafont to be alone,” Olaf fumbles.

Mr. Poe chuckles. “Oh, I’m sure a nurse has seen plenty of dead bodies.”