Big Bang Theory (Missy Cooper X Male Reader X Paige Swanson )

S3.EP2 The Jiminy Conjecture

The comic book store. All the guys except Y/N were there.

Howard: Sheldon, you're wrong. Wolverine was not born with bone claws.

Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think if I were wrong, I'd know it?

Howard: Okay, first of all...

Raj: Give it up, dude, you're arguing with a crazy person.

Sheldon: I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested.

Leonard: Hey, guys.

Howard: What are you doing here?

Leonard: What do you mean? It's new comic book night.

Raj: Yeah, but since you and Penny finally hooked up, we thought you two would be having bouncy naked yum-yum night.

Leonard: There's more to life than sex, Raj.

Howard: Okay who had Leonard flames out with Penny in less than 24 hours"?

Sheldon: I did.

Leonard: Nothing flamed out. We don't have to have sex every night, you know.

Howard: You don't have to, but it's highly recommended. For the first week, Y/N was with Missy, we didn't see the pair for a week.

Raj: Exactly, so take advantage of that window of opportunity before it slams shut on your little dinky.

Leonard: It's not a matter of opportunity. We're getting to know each other. There's a learning curve.

Howard: What's there to learn? You get naked, do nasty things to each other, then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami. Easy peasy.

Sheldon: Perhaps what Leonard is obliquely referring to is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction.

Raj: Okay, who had Leonard gets a floppy disk?

Sheldon: Oh, a clever, albeit obsolete, euphemism for insufficient blood flow to the male sex organ.

Sheldon chuckled.

Leonard: Nothing like that happened, all right? The sex was just fine.

Leonard walked away but Raj and Howard followed.

Raj: Just fine? Oh, dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was just fine.

Leonard: I'm not saying it was bad, I'm just saying it... wasn't great.

Howard: Okay, when you say "it wasn't great, do you mean for both of you? Because we can totally see it not being great for her. Am I right?

Raj: Oh, yeah.

Leonard: To tell you the truth, I think we were both a little, I don't know...

Raj: Disappointed? Let down?

Howard: Ashamed? Horrified? Repulsed?

Leonard: All I know is, it wasn't the way I dreamed it would be.

Howard: Sex is never the way I dream it's gonna be.

Raj: That's because in your dreams you're a horse from the waist down.

Sheldon came back carrying a comic book.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Wolverine: Origin. Miniseries issue two, page 22. Retractable bone claws. If you people spent less time thinking about sex and more time concentrating on comic books, we'd have far fewer of these embarrassing moments.