Just us.

44. 'G' word

After meeting with Reece and accidentally slipping out the 'G' word, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

I called Mia my girlfriend. Out loud. But I don't even know if that's where we are at. I mean, I love spending time with her. Especially when she's with the girls. And don't get me wrong, we are definitely more than friends.

It's like when she's close to me it feels electric and wild, impulsive. Yet it's a feeling so tender and comforting.  She makes me feel wanted and appreciated and I want to be around her constantly. But I just don't know if I'm good enough for her...

I mean, I live a small basic life. I've got my kids and work and that's about it. Mia isn't that type of person. What if this isn't what she wants. Compared to her, I'm just simple. How if that's too boring for her?

I do want to speak to her about it, I need to clarify what we actually are here. But at the same time I'm so nervous. What if she just leaves. If I am right and I am boring and simple. I mean, it's not just me she would be leaving either.

I just don't know what to think. Why would Mia, this courageous, wild, impulsive woman want to be with someone like me?

...

(Mia's pov)
The girls and I are finishing up our ice creams in the park when I get a text from Char.
"Okay, should we head back?" I ask and the girls nod, Isla has chocolate ice cream all over her face so I pull a packet of tissues out of my bag, "come here sweetheart" I carefully wipe her face before throwing the tissues into the bin.

"Can I sit in the front this time?"
"Hey! I'm the oldest so I get to!"
"You did last time! It's my turn!" The girls glare at each other before facing me with the cutest little faces.
"Okay, Ellie was in the front on the way here, so Isla can now, okay? You guys can take in turns, right?" Ellie huffs and Isla has the biggest smile on her face.

...

Ellie and Isla walk into the house and I follow them in, meeting Char in the kitchen,
"Hey, how'd it go?" I ask,
"Okay, I think we really got somewhere. Although he didn't bring me my chocolate" she pouts.

My Charlotte is just so cute. Especially when she's angry
"I'll get you all the chocolate on the world sweetheart, okay?" She nods.
"I still think I deserve that chocolate"
"Of course you do my sweet"

"What about girls, did you have fun?" Char asks the girls
"Yeah! We went to McDonald's' and then we had ice cream and went to the park and played and I got to sit in the front but next time it's Ellie's turn." Isla rambles on,
"Wow it sounds like you had a lot of fun"

...

Char is putting Isla to bed to I go into the living room where Ellie is. She's curled up watching Tv,
"Hey" she smiles at me
"Hello sweetheart, are you okay?"
"Mhm. You wanna watch The Vampire Diaries?" Great show.

I sit down next to her as the Tv plays,
"Ellie, are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine. I mean... I'm worried about Isla. She was so upset when dad didn't show up" she says
"I know. And I know how much you love her. But sweetheart, you don't have to be strong for her, okay? It's okay for you to be upset as well"
"I know. But I'm not" mhm.

I can tell she's just trying to stay strong. I was just like her. She thinks closing down and pretending to be okay is easier but eventually all those emotions will build up until she explodes.

"Okay, but if you're not, you would tell me, right? Or someone else?"
"Mhm" she hums in reply.
"Okay, so who's your favourite character?" I ask to lighten the mood
"Bonnie. Who's yours?"
"I've always liked Katherine"
"But she's a bad guy isn't she?"
"Not on purpose. Some people have to be bad in order to survive" I tell her. I've always related to Katherine that way.