Monstrous Love Tales

A Fairy Bad Problem (Arny)

Some apartments have a rodent problem. Others have to deal with roaches. In Arny's new place, fairies. Since this type of swamp fairy were a protected species now due to loss of habitat, there was nothing anyone could do but tolerate them. For Arny. It was easier said than done.

Never leave your windows open. Always close your doors behind you. Do not allow a fairy to eat or drink anything from your residence. Arny followed all the steps that the landlord told him. Yet, the tiniest slip caused the biggest nausea in his life.

Arny left his front door open for a moment to run back to his car for the last bag of groceries that he could not carry in with the rest. When he got back in, he saw that he was doomed.

Sitting on the counter, eating a blueberry like her life depended on it, was a fairy dressed in a water lily blossom. She was no taller than the length of his hand. Her green hair spilled about her little shoulders and pooled on the granite countertop. The bottom portion of her face was covered in berry juice. A little turned up nose and delicate features like full dark rose lips, slender nose bridge with wide nostrils, pointed chin made up her face. Her eyes were dark, nearly black like fresh roasted coffee. A pair of gossamer wings fluttered behind her.

"Thank you for the blueberry." Her tiny voice sounded like the tinkling of Christmas bells. Arny stammered incoherently, unsure what to do. There was a clause on the lease, saying that if a fairy got in your home, there was nothing you could do to remove it for it was literally against the law. Six months in prison and $5,000 fine.

Arny sighed and started to put away the rest of the groceries. "I guess, I have a roommate." He grumbled. He moved about the kitchen as she watched him. Her gaze was one of curiosity.

"Fern."

"What fern?" Arny turned from the fridge. He looked over at his house plants. Three in total. He did not have a fern.

"No. You may call me Fern." She sat there, swinging her legs. She smiled and took another bite of the blueberry. The purple of the juice accented the cypress tree bark coloration of her skin. "What are you called?" She asked.

"I am called Arny." He replied. "Look, just stay out of my way." He warned. She smiled with her teeth. Oh great.

Fern was trouble after that. She disturbed his streams by flying about the camera and blocking his view of gameplay. Her favorite thing to do was unplug his mic. Arny would get so mad that his normally pale face would get beet red.

In the kitchen, she would make a mess with the food that she ate, leaving it for Arny to clean up. No matter how tight Arny would put the lids on this or baby locks on the cabinets, she would still get into everything.

Fern was one to get the dogs to bark and play too loud. When the neighbors complained, Arny had to explained what was happening. The landlord nodded and said that they would speak to the neighbors. Now, he just got pity looks from everyone. Arny hated it.

She was constantly talking, asking questions, and being a total pest on a daily basis. The worst thing that she would do is sleep in his hair. He woke up so many times to feel her nestled in his curls. Arny even started to wear a hoodie to cover his head with to bed. Yet, she was still there, even cozier warm.

"I can't do this anymore!" Arny raged, seeing yet another mess on the kitchen counter. He stalked to his bedroom. "I'm done. Fuck this and fuck you, Fern!" He yelled as he started to stuff his suitcase with clothes and essentials.

"Where will you go?" Fern asked, crossing her arms. She was standing on his nightstand. "It is your home."

"I can find another one. Away from you." Arny snapped at her. "You don't get it. I am tired of cleaning up and dealing with you. I haven't been able to relax since you snuck in. You make living here miserable."