Chapter 32

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by runawayhotdog7

by runawayhotdog7

Nico wanted to find his boyfriend, Will, and we followed the sounds of bad haikus until we found Prince James.

"Hi y'all," James said. Nico smiled for the first time since before his mom died. James had actually been Will Solace the whole time!

"Can we abandon Doug?" Evie asked. "He hasn't stopped playing kazoo in three weeks."

It was true.

"Wait, I thought you were in love with Doug," Dizzy said. She was crying.

"Ew, no," Evie said. "I just work with him in chemistry because he's a pretty good chemistry guy. Why would you ever think we're in love? I've literally only interacted with him a few times, and we went to the cotillion in a completely unromantic and platonic way. Wouldn't that just be weird if all of a sudden we were in love in the third movie when it's never been mentioned before?"

"Yeah," Doug agreed. "I've spoken with Chad Charming more than I've interacted with Evie. Also he's my boyfriend."

"Guys," I interrupted. "If I'm supposed to defeat Audrey, you guys have to shut up."

"I 100% agree with you," Nico said.

"Great," I said. "So first we have to kill Prince Ben."

"I 100% agree with you," Mal said.

"No!!!" James said. "Murder's not the answer! It's just like my haiku says!!!"

He cleared his throat and began reciting a haiku.

Murder's not the answer by James Willslow

Murder's no answer

Prince Ben is a meanie pants

The answer's torture

I nodded. James/Will's haikus have gotten a lot better in the past hundred years.

"Mal, Evie," I directed. "You two get the torture chamber ready." I turned to Nico and Will. "You two locate Audrey." I turned to Doug and Dizzy. "You two find Prince Ben."

"Eye, eye!" they sang.

I swiveled around, and sure enough, Ursula was standing behind me!

"I'd recognize you two-eyed fish anywhere," I growled. I had a big rivalry with Ursula because one time I called her shrimpy's mom because Mal called her daughter, Uma, shrimpy.

"I'm not here to be mean," Ursula said. "I'm here to offer you a deal."

I put on my listening ears.

"Give me fairy godmother's wand, and I'll give you this cool looking rock," she said.

I considered her offer and turned back to my gang to consult with them.

"Plan's off, guys," I said. "We need to find fairy godmother's wand."