Stuff I write

Never ever

November 20, 2019. 6:03 PM

I guess it is prohibited for me to ask
Out of boundaries for me to talk
It is limited for me to speak

If I were to ask about one tiny lie
If I were to speak about one little time
If I were to say my pain out loud
And seek comfort in your little eyes

It would be out of the line
Impossible for you to try
Disrespectful for me to think
Of asking for your help
When my dreams are bad

I definitely always understand
Always care to not make you break
Down and in little parts

But I also break and I also cry
I suffocate and even die
I drown and I hug myself
Whenever those nightmares try
To make me feel like I'm gonna die

I'm sorry I asked
I'm sorry I cried
I'm sorry I un-buried
the past you mourned
The past you cried

I will try my best
To stand myself
To hold my face
And whisper love
Into my own ears

I will try my best
To not offend you
But offend me
I will try my best
To keep you away
And with no pain

"Sleep well"
That's all you said
After all my courage went into play
After all my fear went and came
After I told you finally
How I have not been sleeping well

You said to me
"I buried my past, leave it alone"
"Don't try to make it resurface"
When all I wanted to do
Was to give you some bits of my honest thoughts

I guess I'm through
I guess you giving up too
like everyone
Who I ever loved true
Giving up on me
And my foolish truth

Why do I speak?
Why do I sing?
Why did God
Gave this to me?
I wish so much I couldn't speak
I wish so much I couldn't live
I wish so much I wasn't here

For me to say how much I fear
And what I feel
It's so much of a big deal
But no one cares and no one dares
To hear me and see my tears

I'll sleep again with all my fears
I'll cage myself in my deep seas
And pull my blankets full of tears

Good night my little love
Hope you do get some nice thoughts
And I'll see how I would solve
All the issues that I brought

I know now to shut my mouth
Whenever I feel any doubt
To keep my fears all to myself
And never ever speak again