We're Not Friends || Buddie

I Need You

"Thank you for coming with us on such short notice."

"Of course. Whatever you need, Eddie." Lillian grabs his hand to comfort him. It's only an hour and a half long flight, but that is too much time for Eddie to spend just thinking.

Buck has been normal with him. Treating him like a friend again. Answering his texts and calls, which he's been making frequently. It's been less than a week, but he really feels like things are getting back to normal. It sucks that it's happening at such a hard time. He can't just enjoy it. He can't walk up to him at work and talk. Instead he has to miss him from 800 miles away. Even beyond the grave, his dad finds way to fuck him over. Eddie feels horrible for the thought, but all he can manage now is anger, and empathy for Chris. Any other feeling he has about his father's death is pushed deep down. He has a feeling that it will all come up at the worst time. His emotions have a tendency to do that.

"I know, but only a week after your birthday and-"

"Eddie, don't worry about it. I had time off to take, and I took some of it. I'm here with you, I'm here for you. I hate that it's how I'm meeting your family, but you need me and that's all that matters." Eddie hadn't even really thought about her meeting his family. He's talked about her the few times he's talked to his family in the past two months, they know about her, but it's not what he was thinking about when he asked her. He thought about how kind she is, and how good she is at calming him, and how much he enjoys talking to her. If he needs a distraction, he can talk to her, and it works pretty well. After Buck, she is just the obvious choice.

"Don't worry, they'll love you."

"Eddie, that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about you, okay? That's all." She leans over and looks at Chris who is on the other side of Eddie. "And him, I'm worried about him too. Is he going to be okay?"

"I uhh... I hope so. He is a lot closer with my parents than I ever was. Seeing this hurt him is going to hurt me more than anything."

"I know. But you've got me, and you've got Buck again... Maybe you should call him when we land. He's known you a lot longer, he might be better at comforting you."

"No, you are doing a great job." He looks to Chris, then back at Lillian. "But uhh, maybe I should call him for Chris. He's usually a lot better at talking to him then I am. I know it's sad, he's my kid, I should know how to talk to him by now, but Buck's just always been better at it. I'm glad he was there with me when I told him. I would have fucked the whole thing up if he wasn't."

"I don't think that's true, Eddie, but I do think it's sweet he's always there for Chris. That must have been helpful after..."

"Shannon. Yeah, it was."

"I still wished you would have called me too."

"It was your birthday and you said you wanted to relax. I didn't want to burden you with my problems."

"Eddie, you can always call me, especially when it's something that big. I understand you had Buck, but you always have me too."

"I know, but I wanted to let you relax before I pulled you into this." And if he convinces himself that he couldn't go to Lillian, then he had no choice but to go to Buck. He went to Buck because he needed to, not because it's who he wants. "I called you the next day."

"Yeah, you did... I just hate that there was time I could have spent helping you, and I didn't."

"Like you said, I had Buck... He uhh..."

"He's what you needed."

"I guess so."

Lillian would never admit it to him, but she's found herself being jealous of their friendship lately. If Buck is near, she isn't needed. It's become very clear since Buck has forgiven Eddie. She tries not to think much about it though. Maybe it's just the circumstances. Maybe when all this passes, she'll be needed just as much.