We're Not Friends || Buddie

Thank You

"Another two weeks, and he still hasn't talked to me. I feel like it's been too much time. I thought he would talk to me by now..." The whole thing is still eating at him. Every night, whether he's alone, with Lillian, or friends from the 118. There isn't a night that he hasn't fallen asleep thinking about Buck.

"So you finally learned how to leave him alone?" Hen gives him a look that makes him want to roll his eyes like an annoyed teenager.

"Yes. I haven't spoken to him once in the past two weeks unless it had to do with work. I haven't called or texted. Nothing." Eddie keeps telling himself he's finally learned how to give Buck his time. He keeps telling himself that it has nothing to do with being afraid of what he might do if he gets that close again.

"Then I'm sure he'll forgive you soon enough. I think all he really needed was time. If you've given him that, then the forgiveness is right around the corner." Eddie doesn't really believe her, but if anyone would know, it would be her. She is the only one who has been talking to Buck about any of it, at least the only one who will actually tell him anything. Maddie sure as hell won't. Although if she did, it would bring him more comfort, knowing she's the only one who knows the whole story.

"Thank you for helping him through all of this stuff when I can't. He needs someone, and I'm glad he's got you."

"I know you're his best friend, Eddie, and no offense, but he's got a whole lot more people than just you. He's got me, and Bobby, and Chim, and Maddie-" 'You're' meaning actively. Despite everything going on, is he still Buck's best friend? If he is, he hasn't been a good one.

"Trust me, I know he's got Maddie. She's yelled at me more than a few times." He believes that if he had stayed any longer at Buck's apartment a few weeks ago, he would have gotten an earful. He's right.

"She knows what's going on with you two?" She sounds offended.

"Yeah." He wishes she didn't. He wishes no one knew. He made decisions, and now he's here. He wanted Buck so badly, in any way possible, that he let it happen, even though he knew it wouldn't end well. And now he is here, no Buck, and still lying to everyone. The only person who knows is Buck's sister, meaning it isn't anyone he can go to. Of course this is how it ended... he should have known.

"I didn't think anyone knew."

"It's Maddie. Either Buck tells her, or she finds a way to figure it out. I hate it, but that's how it is with those two." He doesn't need to be told. He knows this is one of the times that she just figured it out. Buck would never tell anyone it was him who he had been seeing. Maddie found it out on her own somehow.

"Yeah, it's frustrating for me too. I can't get either of them to tell me anything. I thought you and Buck keeping secrets was annoying, but those two are somehow worse." Eddie understands. Just like Buck is the only one Maddie will keep a secret from Chimney for, she is the only one Buck will keep a secret from Eddie for. He doesn't think he has, but knowing that he would is still odd, annoying even.

Eddie doesn't want to give the comparison of him and Buck bening like Maddie and Chim any dignity, but that doesn't stop it from being there. He also doesn't want to acknowledge his annoyance at a hypothetical secret that Buck may or may not keep from him in the future, only being annoying because it would be Buck keeping it from him.

"You said I am Buck's best friend... currently. You still think I'm his best friend?" He needs to know... If Hen thinks there is that much hope, even not knowing the whole story, has to mean there is at least some hope.

"Eddie, you could move to the other side of the world, and he would never stop thinking of you as his best friend. I don't think you could escape him if you wanted to."