unsend ; jake

eighty one: midnight

I had this chapter planned ever since I began the book. I'm so happy I finally got to write it. Enjoy hehe <3

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It was almost midnight when Suyoung lay sprawled out on her bed, scrolling mindlessly on her phone. Her thoughts were elsewhere- it felt like her entire world had come crashing down. 

It seemed in the end, it was always Yunhyo that Jay cared about more, and it was proved today when he snapped at her over the younger girl. 

He always looked out for her, cared for her, and ensured she was okay. Of course, he did it for everyone, but when he did it for Yunhyo it stood out to everyone. 

And it was all over now, their school was over, they had even graduated. They would go to different colleges, Jay might even go to the US, his birthplace. It was over between them, even before it had begun. 

Teary-eyed and frustrated, Suyoung pulled her covers over her head, closing her eyes and forcing herself to sleep, even though the storm of thoughts in her head wouldn't let her off so easily. 

She jumped out of her skin when she suddenly heard a knock on her window. Was it the wind? Was she imagining it?

She thought she had lost her mind when she heard it again and knew exactly what it meant. 

Di-di-di-dit, Dit, Da-di-da-dah. 

'Hey' in Morse code. She had learnt it in a summer camp when she was young. And there was only one person who could be doing this. 

Her eyes blown wide, she threw the blanket off, her heart racing at the possibility of it being him. She ran to her dresser, fixing her hair before running to open the curtains to her window.

"What the fuck? What are you doing here like this, right now?" She whisper-yelled, ignoring the slight happiness her heart swelled in. 

"I know right? I must've lost my mind." Jay smiled at her, who stood outside her window with his hands resting on the railing, the soft breeze messing his hair a little. 

She laughed in disbelief. "It's 12. If my parents find you, you're dead meat."

"I know. Risky, right?" he had the audacity to smirk.

She opened the window wide, gripping his hand tightly. "Get in, idiot." 

She helped him climb in, it was a struggle for him to climb up from ground level, but he managed it. He jumped inside, hands on hips as he looked around her dimly lit room. "I figured you wouldn't answer my calls or texts. I may hate Jake a lot but thanks to him, I learnt this." 

"What? Sneaking into people's houses at midnight?"

"Taking a risk, if it means it's worth it. You know it's unlike me to be doing this right now. And I know how big of a trouble we'll get in if your parents find me in your room. But I had to see you. This very moment." 

She stared at him, mesmerized by his words, almost forgetting that she was mad at him. 

"Just because you pulled some stunts doesn't mean I'm talking to you." she sat down on her bed, a frown on her lips as she started scrolling on her phone again, just to show him she was ignoring him. 

"Oh... but you'll listen to me, right? Please, Suyoung..." 

The pleading tone of Jay's voice was melting her heart right away, but she had to put on a cold demeanour so she just scoffed at his words. 

"I never meant to snap at you. You know I wouldn't do that. I was annoyed and it just happened in the heat of the moment- I'm sorry, Suyoung-ah... I should've fixed it when it happened instead of apologising later..." He spoke agitatedly. 

Suyoung sighed, putting her phone away. It was so hard to be mad at the boy, he was such a gentleman. He knew what he did wrong, didn't feel small to apologise to her, and admitted his fault. Suyoung knew that even if her feelings ended up being unrequited, she would never hate herself, because she loves the right person. 

She knew her heart would never love anyone else; because she would never be able to find someone better than him. 

"You know that's not all I'm mad about..."

"It's Yunhyo, isn't it? Trust me, I've noticed your behaviour shifting so many times before." Suyoung looked away at his words, guilty as charged but having no courage to admit it. Jay walked over to her bed where she sat, kneeling down in front of her, his knees on the soft carpet. 

"I wanna hear about it, this time. Whatever it is that bothers you, tell me." He spoke softly. It was so easy for him to get her to talk to him. 

"I can't Jay... I can't tell you the reason. It's not worth it."

"Worth what?"

"Our friendship," she felt like crying, her voice shaking when she glanced down at him. "And I don't wanna lose it, no matter what, so forget about it."

"Suyoung-ah..." he looked into her eyes worriedly, his hands reaching out to hold hers, which rested in her lap. "Nothing is going to cost you our friendship, okay? We've been through everything together, I bet you this isn't gonna change anything. I won't know if you don't tell me."

She looked at him, his eyes soft and sincere. She bit her lip nervously, deciding to give up and go for it. She can't conceal the truth from him forever, can she? 

"I hate it, I hate the way you are to her..."

"To Yun?"

She nodded at his words, eyes shut close as a tear rolled down her cheek, followed with another. "Always taking her side, always caring for her as if... as if she's the only one you can see." He looked at her, his brows only arching in worry and his hands squeezing hers. She continued, "I'm kind of tired Jay... tired of waiting, for the day when it's me... the only one you can see. Because for me, it's always been you, from the start." she sniffled, her tears landing on their intertwined hands when she looked down.