Unauthorized GOP Cabaret Night

Scene 7: Denying Climate Change

[The lights go out and the GROUP exits. A spotlight reveals MARSHA BLACKBURN.]

MARSHA BLACKBURN:

The democratic scheme to get rid of coal is even more sinister when you realize that global warming is just a hoax. The communist left has paid off scientists to perpetuate this myth. They may have most of the world fooled, but some of us know the truth.

[To the tune of "Defying Gravity" from Wicked.]

SOME SAY THE TEMPS ARE CHANGING.

I SAY THAT'S JUST A CLAIM

I'M THROUGH WITH PLAYING BY THE RULES

OF CHARLES DARWIN'S GAME

DON'T WANT THEIR SCIENCE TEXTBOOKS

I'M NOT SOME LIBERAL SHEEP

IT'S TIME TO TRUST THE SCRIPTURES

CLOSE MY MIND, AND LEAP

IT'S TIME TO TRY DENYING CLIMATE CHANGE

I THINK I'LL TRY DENYING CLIMATE CHANGE

AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG

I'M THROUGH WITH REGULATIONS

SET BY THE EPA

THE EARTH WILL ONLY END

WHEN GOD DECIDES ITS JUDGMENT DAY

TOO LONG THEY'VE BEEN INTRUDING

'CAUSE SOME WILDLIFE'S BEEN LOST

A CARBON TAX? NO WAY

THAT'S MUCH TOO HIGH A COST

I'D SOONER BUY DENYING CLIMATE CHANGE

I WON'T COMPLY, I'M DENYING CLIMATE CHANGE

AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG

UNLIMITED, OUR PROFITS ARE UNLIMITED

AS LONG AS WE BLOCK ALL THE DEM BILLS THERE'S EVER BEEN

CONGRESS

CASH, THAT'S EARNED BY MERIT

WE WON'T HAVE TO SHARE IT

THERE'S NO "TRUTH" WE CANNOT SPIN

ALL YOU AND I, DENYING CLIMATE CHANGE

WE'LL JUSTIFY, DENYING CLIMATE CHANGE

THEY'LL NEVER PROVE US WRONG

SO IF YOU CARE TO JOIN ME,

LOOK TO THE CLEARING SKY

THE RAINBOW IS GOD'S PROMISE

HE WON'T LEAVE THE EARTH AGAIN TO DIE

BUT IF THAT'S WHAT HE'S WANTING

WE CAN'T JUST DISAGREE

TO LIBS WHO'D MOCK ME

I WILL BLOCK YOUR POLICY

YOU'LL SEE HOW I AM DENYING CLIMATE CHANGE

NOT JUST IMPLY, DENYING CLIMATE CHANGE

AND MY CONCLUSION'S STAYING STRONG

AND NOBODY THROUGH ANY ACTS

WITH PEER-REVIEWED STUDIES OR FACTS

IS EVER GONNA PROVE ME WRONG

PROVE ME WRONG

AHHHH!