[The GOP MEN end their song looking dejected, but TED CRUZ steps forward trying to rally them.]
TED CRUZ:
Aw, cheer up guys. I know it's hard being a part of the most oppressed group in America, but let me show you a little trick. It's something that can always help lift my spirits when I'm being persecuted.
[To the tune of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.]
HOUSEWIVES WITH BABIES, NOT PUPPIES OR KITTENS
OFFICERS BREAKING UP PROTESTS LIKE SIT-INS
NO MORE AID PACKAGES TIED UP WITH STRINGS
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
JUST GIVING TAX CUTS TO LARGE CORPORATIONS
IGNORING ALL EPA REGULATIONS
CROSSES, AND ALTERS, AND WHITE ANGEL WINGS
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
GIRLS IN CHASTE DRESSES WHO STAY IN THE KITCHEN
SNOWFLAKES REDUCED TO JUST WHINING AND BITCHIN'
BIG POLAR ICE CAPS THAT MELT INTO SPRINGS
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
WHEN THE LEFT FIGHTS
WHEN BIG GOV. STINGS
WHEN I'M FEELING SAD
I SIMPLY REMEMBER MY FAVORITE THINGS
AND THEN I DON'T FEEL SO BAD
BILL CASSIDY:
HOUSEWIVES WITH BABIES, NOT PUPPIES OR KITTENS
JAMES RISCH:
OFFICERS BREAKING UP PROTESTS LIKE SIT-INS
ROY BLUNT:
NO MORE AID PACKAGES TIED UP WITH STRINGS
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
JOHN THUNE:
JUST GIVING TAX CUTS TO LARGE CORPORATIONS
JOHN BOOZMAN:
IGNORING ALL EPA REGULATIONS
JAMES LANKFORD:
CROSSES, AND ALTERS, AND WHITE ANGEL WINGS
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
MIKE LEE:
GIRLS IN CHASTE DRESSES WHO STAY IN THE KITCHEN
THOM TILLIS:
SNOWFLAKES REDUCED TO JUST WHINING AND BITCHIN'
MIKE ENZI:
BIG POLAR ICE CAPS THAT MELT INTO SPRINGS
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
DAVID PERDUE:
WHEN THE LEFT FIGHTS
RICK SCOTT:
WHEN BIG GOV. STINGS,
RICHARD BURR:
WHEN I'M FEELING SAD
LAMAR ALEXANDER:
I SIMPLY REMEMBER MY FAVORITE THINGS
AND THEN I DON'T FEEL SO BAD
[The GOP WOMEN re-enter]
GOP WOMEN:
WHEN THE LEFT FIGHTS
GOP MEN:
WHEN BIG GOV. STINGS,
GOP SENATORS:
WHEN I'M FEELING SAD
I SIMPLY REMEMBER MY FAVORITE THINGS
AND THEN I DON'T FEEL SO BAD
YOU ARE READING
Unauthorized GOP Cabaret Night
HumorIt's the summer of 2020. What's there for Fox News to do besides host a large, crowded concert? A satirical revue style show featuring parodies of musical theatre songs from the perspective of the GOP Senators.
