Little Things in Life

Friend(less)

And I'm that type of person.

Make friends fast and leave them even fast. 

I don't know why. 

Maybe it's because I don't want to be hurt again. 

Maybe it's because I don't want to feel empty for every one of their littlest mistake.

Mistakes, words, or small pushes, they don't even know peel a piece of my skin off, exposing what's underneath, leaving a painful wound for bloody flesh and rusting bones. 

I know it'll hurt them.

But isn't this what they deserve? 

But they can't help that I'm so sensitive, that my skin is so thin, that my bones are so fragile, that my mind is so cloudy, that my lungs so clotted, that my heart so weak. 

But time. 

Time is cold water. It comes and makes the pain less painful. Time comes, and it comes whenever you decide to turn the tap.

They'll all forget you. You'll be nothing but an odd one. The one that swept them off their feet, both with the wind coming at them, and the dust leaving them behind. And you. 

But you. 

But me. 

I'll probably remember the guilt, the shame, and the pain. The pain of what they did, and what they said, and what I did. 

And then the water comes, because it hurts too much. Because I can't help but grip onto the handles, turning up blue one. 

And soon, we'll be nothing. Even if they meant everything to me, even if my world revolved around them, even though they might have known my secrets. I'll still leave you. 

Because that's just who I am.

And I chose to turn on the tap water.

Because I chose to turn on the tap water.