𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 ꨄ︎ || bill kaulitz

the planning is what hits .

i was going through my dad's stuff. he always told me he had a box of things he would want at his funeral.

i always said why make it this early but now looking back at it i guess it's good he did.

"i think i found it?" bill said abd i turn around. "you said a black and white box right?" he asked and i nodded. "let me see" i say looking at the box.

on it said "mi futuro encuentra". "my future finds.." i mumble. "huh?" bill asked.

i open it and see everything. it was the list of people. and just a letter? i open it and read

"querida mija,

se que estas leyendo esto ahora mismo y solo quiero decirte que te amo. no importa lo que paso entre nosotros mientras yo estaba vivo, solo se eso. estoy escribiendo esto cuando tengo 17 anos y tu significas mas para mi, pase lo que pase. pero solo quiero que sepas que lo unico que quiero para mi funeral es que sea el dia de mi cumpleanos. se que es una estupidez pero hazlo por mi mija, te amo y adios, por ahora."

(dear mija. i know you're reading this right now and i just want to say i love you. no matter what happened between us while i was alive just know that. im writing this when I'm 17 and you mean the most to me no matter what. but i just want you to know the only thing i want for my funeral is for it to be in my birthday. i know that's stupid but do it for me mija, i love you and goodbye, for now. )

my eyes were filling with tears as i read it. bill hugged me to calm me down. "what did it say?" he asked as i calmed down

"he wants his funeral on his birthday" i mumble "isn't that like end of September?" bill asked "mhm, september 23rd" i say standing up.

"whats that?" bill said about the list "oh the people he wanted invited" i say "well lets see" he said abd grabbed my hand. i smiled and walked over to the bed.

i opened the paper and looked at it. there was people crossed off and he added more people since last time i saw it. "he changed it" i say "what?" bill asked confused

"last time i saw this list it didn't have this much people or this much crossed out" i say then softly chucked "oh, well who all is on it?" he asked

i sigh then read "okay so we have me.." i start then yap the rest. "oh here's the new people. clarise, you, tom, gustav,georg, and miguel." i say

"hey I'm on there" he smiled proudly. "i would hope so" i giggle.

"okay but i needs make calls. i have to the end of this month to get this funeral in place" i say then stand up "wait but i forgot to buy the movie tickets for you and tom since yall couldn't go on your birthday, shit i also didnt-" i say but bill kissed.

"don't worry about the movies, i don't care neither did tom. and i know you didn't call the funeral establishment so i got that handled, September 23rd, what time do you want?" he asked.

"bill you don't need to" i say "you needa to stop putting everything on your shoulders y/n. I'm here to help, now what time and where?" he said "well my home town back in mexico, and i would say around noon?" i say "got it, i love you" he said then kissed me. "i love you too and thank you" i say after letting go.

he smiled and walked out. i sigh then walk in to my old room when i lived here.

it was empty every since i moved out. i say on the bed with the list and waited for bill to tell me if the time and place was okay.

after a few minutes he walked in "okay September 23rd at 1pm at the mexico city national cemetery" bill said "thank you" i smile. he nodded then walked out.

i started to call my relatives. some didn't even know he was gone..

--

i finished calling everyone. i hated hearing some people break down after me telling them he was dead.

i wanted to cry but i needed to get through this. i mean he would want me to be happy right?

i then called the tombstone place. i picked out the one i thought stood out to my dad the best.

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"so what would the writing be on it for mr. gonzales? the guy asked

i tell him what i want written on it and he wrote it down "okay thank you bye" i said and hung up.
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i then get up to find bill "hey you ready to head home?" he asked "mhm" i reply.

he grabs my hand and we walk out. we get in his car and drive back home.

--

a few weeks had gone by and it was september 23rd. me, bill, tom, jizelle, gustav and his girl, and georg and his girl were all in mexico.

i was looking at myself in the mirror in my black dress.

but then bill walked in. "you look beautiful" he mumbled. i gave a weak smile. "hey it's gonna be okay" he asked wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me from behind "i know but what if i start crying during my speech and embarrass myself" i say "even if you cry that's okay, everyone is gonna be crying" he reassured me

i didn't say anything tho. "well we're all leaving so you ready?" he asked abd i nodded.

we then walked out to the car.

--

it was an open casket funeral. since it had been weeks he was looking like the whitest mexican ever because of how pail he was. luckily he was shot in his lower chest so it went noticeable.

"y/n? darling" my tia.said to me in spanish "yes?" i ask "there about to close the casket if you wanna say goodbye" she said.

i sighed then got up. i

i walked up and see my dad there. tears flood my eyes.

"hey pa" i say. "im sorry this happened. you didn't deserve this. ill miss you. happy birthday, te amo pa, see you soon" i say then cover my mouth walking away crying.

i sit down next to bill. he holds my hand to soothe my pain.

after the priest talked he was letting people come up and talk.

after a few people did it was my turn "okay now a very someone would like to speak, y/n?" he asked
said.

i sigh then get up. i had to talk in spanish but the others already knew what i was gonna say

"i just wanna say uhm. I'm sorry. honestly if feels like the world is upside down" i chuckle so calm myself down as i softly cry "my dad was my favorite person honestly. i mean he nevet left my side no matter what. and now it's just.." i say not being able to finish

"i will never forgive the person who did this. ill miss my father dearly.. you know his list words was him saying he loves me" i chuckle "and i feel that's what's helping me get through this, just know he loved each and everyone of you out there" i say and wipe tears "happy birthday, i love you dad.. until we meet again" i say walking off the stage crying.

i sit back down and bill hugs me "shh your okay" he says calming me down.

--

about 2 days later we were back home. i was sitting on my bed curled up in a ball cuddling bill.

he was caressing my back trying to help me sleep.

i look up at bill and he stopped. "hi" i mumble "hey" he smiled "i love you" i smile "i love you more" he said then kissed me.

guys im kinda hard rn NIT EVRN GINNA LIEEEEEEE (im a girl😟.)
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