4 Misunderstood

30.

Angel
Location: Chicago

To be honest, i'm quite fed up. Ever since I yelled at mom, I haven't been hesitant to speak my peace like i've been doing.

I'm getting back comfortable letting everybody have it.

Now that i've agreed to keep the baby, there won't be anymore playing with my feelings.

I hate that it has to be like this but I can't have them feeling like they can walk all over me especially when i'm the one with the baby growing inside me.

I don't like that I have to start resorting back to my old ways cause I feel like i'm regressing.

I learned what to cater my energy to, so that means when people say dumb shit I let them have it unless I feel its necessary to actually say something.

It's something I learned with the rising fame the W got, these new fans and the racist ones just be saying whatever comes to mind.

I learned how to shut it out, ignore it and applied it to my everyday life.

A perk of my life being too much I guess.

After the appointment, I was still stuck on Flau'jae calling me baby because of the way she was engaged in the appointment.

It was cute how she was taking notes and looked happy as ever to be there taking in this information. She even interrupted for clarification when she didn't understand something.

It feels weird trying to go through this process as friends when I don't want to be her friend, I want to be her girlfriend someday her wife but we can't even get being friends right.

It was her idea for us to be friends but her calling me baby and saying it "slipped" just doesn't seem right.

I didn't intend to bring it up when she wanted to discuss how the appointment went but she apologized for jumping to conclusions and it just set me off.

I can't go through this entire pregnancy not knowing what it is she wants from me, you can't tell me you want to be just friends and act jealous.

"I think yew need tew figure out what it really is yew want from this and tell me"

"Don't tell me yew want tew be friends but get mad i'm around dudes and show up here and call me baby"

"We need tew set up boundaries because I can't have yew playing with my feelings when yew know I want yew"

She didn't respond immediately, gathering her thoughts I guess.

"I'm not trying to play with your feelings" She said sighing

"Angel, I just think we need to figure out how to communicate and understand each other again before we even attempt to take it further if that's what we want to do"

"Yew not answering my question" I said getting a little annoyed.

"WE both know what I want tew dew but yew aren't telling me what yew want"

"Dew I need to spell it our for yew that i'm not trying tew be just friends with yew for the rest of our lives?"

"Angel"

"I can't answer that right now"

"Okay then stop leading me on, don't have me thinking it's something there when it's not"

"I'm sor-"

"I swear tew god, Flau'jae stop apologizing! This was your idea tew be just friends so act like thats what yew want please!"