𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓯𝔂 》✮ TMR, Newt

082 - "A0 The Star"

CHAPTER 82
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

I don't know for how long I've been trapped here.

But I'm sure of one thing. My body feels numb.

I suppose it could be two weeks. Two awful weeks.

All this time, the only thing they do to me is tests. Blood tests, MRIs, and whatever possible test they can think of.

Of course my first days I tried to protest which is nothing like me. Normally I would tell myself to cooperate and stab them in the back when they are not looking.

But I'm tired of cooperating and negotiating shit.

I tried my best to protest as much as possible. Other people did too.

But that never had a good consequence.

Most times they sedated me-with anesthetics and heavy sedatives-so I wouldn't mess the tests up. Other times I could sense them. Hear their steps down the corridors.

I've been counting steps and anything possible.

I don't know what they are doing to me anymore. The portions of food started normal, two times a
day-at least the first three days.

Maybe it was an illusion that they cared but no.

Now the portions are small and we barely get two meals per day. The only times we get a normal portion with good nutritional value is when they need tests.

But despite all that I have only one benefit.

Since I have gone through two weeks and more with no food this is easier than I expected. I eat the small portions but I start to feel as if I can't eat them.

There is no such problem now.

Most hours of the day I'm tied in a chair or in my own room which I'm grateful to have. At least I can sleep but I sleep for only five hours.

I have nightmares. Nightmares about the people here and the people out there. The kids in here, that are tortured. The kids that they put down for a painful test.

Painful tests.

The people out there-my friends.

Sometimes when I close my eyes I imagine Minho being in the same building but I can't see him. I don't know where he is.

Some other times when I close my eyes, I see Newt judging me for not telling him about his sister. That she's dead and she never got the chance to reunite with her.

Some other times my friends-Brenda, Emmaline, and Nolan were tortured for trying to get to me.

And lastly, Thomas-my brother, judges me for everything.

It's all your fault. He had said in a nightmare. All of them are dying and are being tortured because you couldn't find a solution earlier.

I sobbed in that nightmare. He blamed me. He and I worked for them.

But it is my fault that there is no cure. I worked in the labs I've seen in memories. I worked really well and I was close to finding solutions.

I couldn't.

I failed. I couldn't find something when I could.

And now it's too late to feel guilty.

They are looking on their own but I refuse to help them on their behalf.

I have dignity-maybe I am tied in a chair for hours, weak and powerless but I have dignity.