The apartment. Sheldon had a series of whiteboards across the room as Leonard exited in his pajamas.
Leonard: Whatcha doin' there? Working on a new plan to catch the roadrunner?
Sheldon: The humorous implication being that I am Wile E. Coyote?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: And this is a schematic for a bird-trapping device that will ultimately backfire and cause me physical injury?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon fake laughs.
Sheldon: What I'm doing here is trying to determine when I'm going to die.
Leonard: A lot of people are working on that research. So what is all this?
Sheldon: My family history factoring in longevity, propensity for disease, et cetera.
Leonard: Interesting, cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB. What's KBB?
Sheldon: Killed by badger.
Leonard: How's that?
Sheldon: It was Thanksgiving. Uncle Carl said I think there's a badger living in our chimney. Hand me that flashlight. Those were the last words he ever spoke to us.
Leonard: I don't think you need to worry about death by badgers being hereditary.
Sheldon: Not true. The fight-or-flight instinct is coded genetically. Instead of fleeing, he chose to fight barehanded against a brawny member of the weasel family. Who's to say that I don't share that flawed DNA?
Leonard: You can always get a badger and find out.
Sheldon: But seriously, even if I disregard the Uncle Carl factor, at best I have 60 years left.
Leonard: That long, huh?
Sheldon: 60 only takes me to here. I need to get to here.
Leonard: What's there?
Sheldon: The earliest estimate of the singularity, is when man will be able to transfer his consciousness into machines and achieve immortality.
Leonard: So, you're upset about missing out on becoming some sort of freakish self-aware robot?
Sheldon: By this much.
Leonard: Tough break. You want eggs?
Sheldon: You don't get it, Leonard. I'm going to miss so much, the unified field theory, cold fusion, the dogapus.
Leonard: What's a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man's underwater best friend.
Leonard: Is somebody working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself on my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute. You hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls. No one can hate that.
In the 4C apartment, Y/N and Missy were packing away the stuff they brought from their trip to Europe with most of it going in the spare bedroom. Y/N lifted up a boat replica of the sixteenth-century carrack.
Y/N: Look at this. It's the boat we bought in Portugal.
Missy: Please don't show me that, I don't want to go anyway near a boat again.
Y/N: It's a shame boats don't agree with you. I'm going into work tomorrow.
Missy: Are you sure?
Y/N: Yeah, I'm as ready as I'll ever be, I turned my failure into triumph.
YOU ARE READING
Big Bang Theory (Missy Cooper X Male Reader X Paige Swanson )
FanfictionY/N L/N. A boy originally from Texas who grew up on the same street as the Cooper's. He was good friends with Sheldon both being obsessed with comic books, Star Trek, and Star Wars even Pyshics was able to keep up with him due to his own impressive...
