Unexpected Love

Chapter 48

Julia woke up at one point during the night, seeing Alma was still laying close in her arms, her head resting under her chin. She seemed fast asleep still.

The younger woman sighed, her heart oddly racing and was worried that it would wake the woman because of her impeccable hearing. She tried moving away, but found she couldn't, stuck for some reason as her mind raced. She didn't know why, she just felt extremely worried for no apparent reason.

Julia took a deep breath in but seen the red glowing in her hands and pulled them off the older woman, not wanting to hurt her. She had to get out of the bed. The taller woman tried gently untangling her from the older woman, not wanting to wake her but sure enough, Alma woke up from the movement.

"Where are you going, dear?" She asks with a sigh, her voice laced with sleep and her eyes still shut.

"Downstairs." Julia says, but Alma had moved her arms around her waist, her cheek resting against her back.

"Is something bothering you?"

"I don't know." She replies quickly, the older woman hearing how fast her heart was beating.

"Come here, sweetheart." Alma says, still drowsy but Julia didn't argue. The ymbryne moved to rest against the headboard of the bed and pulled the woman into her grasp, Julia resting her head against her chest with a small sigh.

"I love you." Alma says softly, her hand rubbing her back and smiled. "You big softie."

"I love-hey!" Julia looked up at her and threw her a glare, sitting up and crossing her arms making the ymbryne chuckle. "I am not."

"You have changed a lot." Alma says with a soft smile, Julia glancing at her.

"In a good or bad way?"

"A good way." She replies. "The day I first met you, you pushed me down on the floor at knife point." She says and Julia looked down, a bit ashamed.

"Sorry, I wasn't that..." She fumbled to find a word but Alma shushed her.

"To be fair, I was giving you a lot of information and it was only your first day here." The older woman says and Julia shrugged.

"Still shouldn't have attempted to choke you." Julia says quietly, looking over her features and grew confused when she seen the slight smirk on the ymbrynes face. "What?"

"Who says I didn't enjoy it?" She says, her voice low and smooth, Julia feeling her cheeks burn as she searched for something to say back when Alma let out a low chuckle.

"I'm just messing with you, darling." She says, pulling her into a close hug, feeling the warmth of the younger woman's cheeks against her skin.

Julia let out a sigh, leaning further against her and Alma placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"What are we?"

A silence fell over the two. The ymbryne knew the question would come up at some point and she bit her cheek, resting her head against hers.

"Whatever you want us to be." She replies but Julia pulled away, looking at her confused.

"What do you want us to be?"

"Whatever you'd like." Alma repeats, looking her deep in her eyes.

"That's not an answer."

"Neither is yours."

Julia fell quiet, looking between her and the wall unsure. Alma leaned forward, her hand resting on her shoulder to gain her attention.

"I'm not trying to pressure us into anything. We don't need to put a label between ourselves if you're not ready. But I will be here for whatever you choose us to be, Jules." Alma assures her, her voice soft yet firm and Julia felt an unknowing blush creep into her cheeks. It didn't help when the older woman moved her hand to rest against her cheek, Julia leaning into it.

The truth was, Alma was secretly hoping the woman would finally have them be an official couple. She wanted to call her her own and adore her with every minute she had, but at the same time, it's wrong. Those minutes are meant to be devoted to her children. To protecting them. And though she thinks she was doing both so well, she couldn't get an opinion on how well she was doing.

"So," Julia says quietly, Alma feeling a hopeful leap in her heart despite it alone being wrong. "Would you like to be.." She trailed off, searching for the right word and finally moved her gaze to the woman's, her cheeks burning and Alma's heart racing as she waited for an answer.

"Would you like to be mine?" She says so quietly that Alma almost didn't catch it. The ymbryne felt her heart beating hard, her breath caught in her throat and Julia grew unsure from the prolonged silence.

"Is that a no?" Julia says, Alma snapping out of her thoughts when she seen the sadness and disappointment in the woman's eyes.

"No no, darling, of course it wasn't." Alma rushes to say, cupping the woman's head in her hands. "It's just, being an ymbryne, you devote your whole life to caring just for your wards. Your children. Having a partner, well, it's against the rules." She says the last part so quietly and Julia looked down at the floor, her heart slowly breaking.

"But I'm willing to. For you, Jules." Alma adds, gaining her attention once more. "I've loved you so much since the moment you walked through the home. Whether you returned the feelings or not the first few days." She says, managing a small smile. "I know that I will still devote my time to my children and I know we can make this work."

"So you're not saying no?" The younger woman asks quietly, Alma having a firm but gentle hold on her chin as she looked her deep in the eyes.

"I'm not, Jules. I love you so so much and would be honored to spend my life with you." The ymbryne whispers, her face only inches away from hers and Julia suddenly felt her eyes start to water, Alma's gaze shifting from adoration to concern immediately and she pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm.." She trailed off, a whole rush of emotions running through her. Her heart beat hard from the adrenaline and love she had for the older woman, yet her mind was causing her to over think, dragging her back to her father which only stirred up a whole mess of thoughts.

Alma watched her closely, deciding to carefully hug her, Julia melting against her touch.

"Don't over think it, love." The ravenette says softly, her talons running across her back. The younger woman moved her hand up to rest against Alma's, leaning further into it and hugging her tight.

"It's just a lot. I know it shouldn't be, but.."

"But what?"

"Barron used to be everything I had. And after what he done, it was then just Matthew. I never knew my dad, I don't remember anything about him other than..that." She settles to say, not wanting to openly admit what she had done. "Everyone I thought I cared about, left." She says quietly, her voice shaking slightly and Alma moved her free hand to carefully take hers. "Everything I had done, that I had caused and dragged them all into to, had them killed."

Julia's voice grew more and more quiet as tears filled her eyes, speaking in a hushed voice as if if she spoke any louder, Alma would leave her too.

"Jules, you know that's not true."

"Everyone that I even allowed to get close to, they all left. My dad, Matt, my-" She cut herself off when her eyes suddenly widened, a small gasp leaving her mouth and the ymbryne looked over her, confused and worried, gently brushing away a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek.

"Jules?" Alma said quietly, the woman suddenly growing quiet, the wheels in her mind seeming to click. "What is it?"

"Oh my god." Was the only response she got and in not much but a whisper. Julia let out a pained laugh, the older woman feeling a jab in her heart at the noise. "Oh my god." She laughed again, her eyebrows knitted together in pain as the tears made their way down her cheeks yet her smile still remained, growing hysterical.

"Julia?"

Alma looked over her worried before suddenly the younger woman glanced at her, looking over her closely before suddenly bringing her into a hug, the older woman noticing how unusually tight her hold was. She heard the pained laugh turn into a sob, not questioning it as she brought her closer in her hold, leaning back on the bed frame.

"What is it, dear?" She asks, wanting to get an answer but Julia hadn't given her one.

Mm, yes, trauma