Muppets x Female!Muppet!Reader

Season 1 episode 4 - Ruth Buzzi

Kermit: It's the Muppet show with our special guest star, Miss Ruth Buzzi.
(Band playing theme music)
Muppets Women: 🎶It's time to play the music🎶
🎶It's time to light the lights🎶
🎶It's time to meet the Muppets🎶
🎶On the Muppets show tonight🎶
Muppets Men: 🎶It's time to put on makeup🎶
🎶It's time to dress up right🎶
🎶It's time to raise the curtain🎶
🎶On the Muppet show tonight🎶
Fozzie: I finally found the sure way to lose weight l bought a scale that lies.
Kermit: 🎶To introduce our guest star🎶
🎶That's what l'm here to do🎶
🎶So it really makes me happy🎶
🎶To introduce to you🎶
Miss Ruth Buzzi!
🎶But now let's get things started🎶
Muppets: 🎶On the most sensational, inspirational🎶
🎶Celebrational, Muppetational🎶
🎶This is what we call🎶
🎶The Muppets show🎶
                                            —
Kermit: Hi again and welcome to the show. Hey, l feel good tonight for two reasons. One uh Scooter's uncle has extended the lease on our theatre which gives us a roof over our head and two our special guest star is Miss Ruth Buzzi which is enough to make anyone feel good but right now let's get the show underway with some musical Mayhem. Hit it, boys.

Dr.Teeth, Floyd and Zoot came out unhappy with their performance and complained about it.
Kermit: Ah, nice, nice, nice guys, nice guys. Yeah, well, okay.
Animal chased Janice.
Kermit: Take it easy, Animal.
Scooter: *pushed a large crate* Ah, hi Kermit. Hey, Kermit.
Kermit: Scooter!
Scooter: Eh? M?
Kermit: Scooter, Scooter, what is this?
Scooter: Oh, uh... it's a crate—
Kermit: I can see it's a crate uh but who's responsible for it?
Scooter: Oh, l am.
Kermit: Scooter, what makes you think you can bring a crate into the backstage?
Scooter: Uh... my uncle owns the theatre.
Kermit: Uh... nice crate, it is totally. May l ask you, what is in it?
Scooter: Sure, go ahead.
Kermit: What is in it?
Scooter: Oh, well, it's a mechanical wind-up TV show host.
Kermit: A mechanical wind-up TV show...
Scooter: Right!
Kermit: That is the dumbest the craziest most ridiculous idea you have ever asked!!! *saw a copy of himself* Degrees... Scooter, you're out of your mind!
Scooter: Mhm.
Copy Kermit: Uh... be careful, frog. His uncle owns the theatre *started pushing him into the crate*.
Kermit: Wha... W-Wait a minute... Oh... Oh... Oh... OH!
Copy Kermit closed it.
Copy Kermit: Oh-oh!
*at the dance*
Classical music plays, couples dance a slow dance.
George: *puffs tiredly* Ah... l wish did that a rock n' roll in a forty's.
Lady Snake: Why?
George: It be dead by now.
Y/n: But don't you see? You got be strong and have standing on your own two feet.
Blue Monster: That's the problem.
Y/n: What?
Blue Monster: I've got three feet.
Pig: Oh my dear, you are so lovely. Have l ever seen you in the movies?
Miss Piggy: Well, l don't think so. I hardly ever go.
Y/n: Don't you feel stupid with three feet?
Blue Monster: Sure but the other one didn't come me back from the cleaner.
Woman: You know l have a bone to pick with you.
Rowlf: Too late, l just buried it.
Y/n: Do you really have three feet?
Blue Monster: Sure. *raised his leg* One, *raised his second leg* two, *raised his third leg* three, AH! *fell on the floor* Three feet, one broken back.
Statler: You know, l think l'll go stretch my legs.
Animal: I'd do it for you.
Animal pulled at his legs causing Statler to scream. Waldorf chuckled.
                                      *backstage*
Kermit hummed a song to himself and walked into his dressing room.
Kermit: Wow, time soon for the handsome frog here to make another one of his introduction l will check myself and see how l look in the mirror.
Kermit looked at himself in the mirror and moved, and his "reflection" repeated him. When he turned away, the "reflection" laughed at him but Kermit sensed something was wrong and turned to the mirror. Kermit kept moving and the "reflection" also repeated after him. At one moment Kermit felt that his "reflection" turned head in the wrong direction. Kermit shook his hand, the "reflection" repeated after him, moved in opposite directions, spun and Kermit realised that all this time his "reflection" was his copy from which he frowned.
Kermit: Scooter, where'd you get those ridiculous wind-up TV show host?!
Copy Kermit: I was a gift from his uncle.
Kermit: Welcome to the show...
                                        *on stage*
Sam: With a few exceptions the characters on this program are weird and peculiar, and not to be trusted one of those exceptions, you know aside for myself. Of course, is the wonderful singing team of Wayne and Wanda. They've really rehearsed this one. So, they're sure to get it right here. They are when in one with "Row, row, row".