Muppets x Female!Muppet!Reader

Season 1 episode 11 - Lena Horne

Kermit: It's the Muppet show with our special guest star, Miss Lena Horne.
(Band playing theme music)
Muppets Women: 🎶It's time to play the music🎶
🎶It's time to light the lights🎶
🎶It's time to meet the Muppets🎶
🎶On the Muppet show tonight🎶
Muppets Men: 🎶It's time to put on makeup🎶
🎶It's time to dress up right🎶
🎶It's time to raise the curtain🎶
🎶On the Muppet show tonight🎶
Fozzie: Uh... l bet on a horse that came in so late. They had to pay the jockey time and a half *laughs*.
Kermit: 🎶To introduce our guest star🎶
🎶That's what l'm here to do🎶
🎶So it really makes me happy🎶
🎶To introduce to you🎶
Miss Lena Horne!
🎶But now let's get things started🎶
Muppets: 🎶On the most sensational, inspirational🎶
🎶Celebrational, Muppetational🎶
🎶This is what we call🎶
🎶The Muppet show🎶
                                            —
Kermit walked onto the stage causing a burst of applause.
Kermit: Thank you, thank you, thank you and good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and dogs, and frogs, and pigs, and chickens, and welcome to the Muppet show. Hey, we are particularly happy tonight to have with us as our special guest star the talented, the beautiful and the indefatigable Miss Lena Horne. But right now, we're going to start off the show with an act that was discovered by George the Janitor and here it is right from the cleaning room into your living room the "Rag Mop".

Statler: Yeah, it only comes once in a lifetime.
Waldorf: If you're lucky.
Statler chuckled.
*backstage*
George and mops went to the backstage.
Kermit: Okay, okay, good number, good number you guys, good number. George, clean up your act.
Miss Piggy: Kermit.
Kermit: M?
Miss Piggy: Kermit, is it true? What l've heard that l'm not doing my song on the show tonight?
Kermit: Uh that's true.
Miss Piggy: *gasp* Why?
Kermit: Well Piggy, because Lena Horne is our guest this week and uh how can l say this? There are singers and there are singers, you catch my drift?
Miss Piggy: Ooh, and, and you don't want me to overshadow Miss Horne? Oh, of course, you're right. What a considerate frog *kissed him on the cheek and leaves*.
Kermit: Ignorance is truly bliss. Uh... Miss Horne on next! Miss Horne on next!
A pipe with a wig appears.
Kermit: No, l'm not you. The wrong Miss Horne *went on stage* And now it is my great pleasure to present a performer whose name is synonymous with style, taste and talent. The incredible Miss Lena Horne.

Waldorf: Ah, l could listen to her sing till the end of time.
Statler: She doesn't sing. That not her style.
Waldorf: No, no, l mean, l could listen to her sing forever.
Statler: Well, she doesn't sing that either.
Waldorf: Why don't you just check yourself into the old fools home while l still have a bed left?
*backstage*
Kermit was reading the text but his attention was drawn to the dog who was going into the dressing room. Piggy came up to him.
Miss Piggy: Kermit, Kermit.
Kermit: Yeah?
Miss Piggy: My love, l've been thinking.
Kermit: Right.
Miss Piggy: The consider concession that you've shown Lena Horne has only reinforced. My undying love for you.
Kermit: Yeah.
Miss Piggy: *lay down on the table* Oh, kiss me quick.
Kermit: Uh... uh... Piggy.
Miss Piggy: *rose from the table* Yes! Yes!
Kermit: Uh l appreciate the fact that you find me attractive. Every frog wants to be needed but uh there is no room in my life for *cleared his throat* romance at this time, thank you.
Miss Piggy: *gasp* Oh, l'm crushed! Oh, l'm destroyed! My life has no mean it! It's over, it's over!
Kermit: Piggy uh listen uh—
Miss Piggy: The sun will never shine on this pig! Oh, death, death, what have l sting? *take deep breaths*.
Meanwhile Y/n who happened to be passing by them and overheard their entire conversation.
Y/n: Uh... Piggy, aren't you just overdoing it a little bit?
Kermit nodded in agreement at Y/n's words.
Miss Piggy: Uh, maybe *leaves*.
*on stage*
News presenter: Here's a Muppet news flash. This is Lola Bramswell of Covington Kentucky has come upon a most unique diet for the post 10 years. She has eaten nothing but seaweed. Uh tell us Mrs. Bramswell, has eating only seaweed presented problems?
Lena Horne: No, not really. Except that twice a day l find myself going in and out with the tide.
News presenter: That's not easy to do in Kentucky.
*at the dance*
Classical music plays, couples dance a slow dance.
Mildred: George, George.
George: Huh?
Mildred: Do you like circuses?
George: Oh, l love them.
Mildred: Oh, then you must like ringling.
George: I don't know, l've never wrinkled.
Janice: Do you'll love me forever?
Zoot: I don't know, baby. Ask me again in a million years.
Miss Piggy: You know, my aunt has a chest that goes back to 1700.
Pig: Wow, it must make it tough on your uncle.
Miss Piggy: Yeah.
Children danced past Mildred and George.
George: You know, they say the children of today are the parents of tomorrow.
Mildred: Hm, l always thought it took longer than that.
Y/n: You know, what it really bugs me about you?
Blue Monster: What?
Y/n: Your temper, you're always blowing your top.
Blue Monster: Oh yeah?
His head exploded causing Y/n to flinch.
*Duet of Rowlf and Zoot*