Muppets x Female!Muppet!Reader

Season 1 episode 6 - Jim Nabors

Kermit: It's the Muppet show with tonight special guest star, Mister Jim Nabors.
(Band playing theme music)
Muppets Women: 🎶It's time to play the music🎶
🎶It's time to light the lights🎶
🎶It's time to meet the Muppets🎶
🎶On the Muppet show tonight🎶
Muppets Men: 🎶It's time to put on makeup🎶
🎶It's time to dress up right🎶
🎶It's time to raise the curtain🎶
🎶On the Muppet show tonight🎶
Fozzie: My cousin is so thin. He paints his head gold and rents himself out as a flagpole.
Kermit: 🎶To introduce our guest star🎶
🎶That's what l'm here to do🎶
🎶So it really makes me happy🎶
🎶To introduce to you🎶
Mister Jim Nabors!
🎶But now let's get things started🎶
Muppets: 🎶On the most sensational, inspirational🎶
🎶Celebrational, Muppetational🎶
🎶This is what we call🎶
🎶The Muppet show🎶
—
Kermit walked onto the stage causing a burst of applause.
Kermit: Thank you, thank you, thank you, alright here we are once again with another great show for you with our special guest star Mister Jim Nabors and all of this, all for this is coming to you by the way from the Benny Vander guest Memorial Theatre. Uh, we own the Muppet show, owe everything to Benny including three months back rent. So, in lieu of the rent here's the fantastic Dr.Teeth with money! Yeah!

Statler: Oh, they don't write the old songs anymore.
Waldorf: Yep, they only write new ones.
                                        *backstage*
Dr.Teeth walks into the backstage and wipes himself with a handkerchief.
Hilda: Oh Dr.Teeth, you are one hip dude.
Kermit: Nice number, nice number, don't lose any of that money though.
Hilda: Oh, l won't, l won't.
Scooter looks out the door and comes in.
Scooter: Hi, are you Kermit the Frog?
Kermit: Uh, yeah.
Scooter: I'm Scooter.
Kermit: Cute, cute name.
Scooter: I'm your new gofer.
Kermit: Gofer? Uh... uh... no, no, we have frogs and pigs, and chickens around here but we've never had a gofer. Matter of fact, you don't even look like a gopher.
Scooter: *laughs* Yeah, well, you don't understand. You see, l'm your new gofer. Yeah, l'll go for coffee, l'll go for sandwiches, l'll go for anything.
Kermit: Yeah, l see.
Scooter: Well, l worked real cheap and l got plenty of ideas for your theatre, and l'll start tonight, okay?
Kermit: Uh listen, listen kid, l'm sorry but uh you're too young, you don't have any experience and l don't have any money for it in the budget.
Scooter: Yeah, well, my uncle owns this theatre.
Kermit: Uh... you start today give me a cup of coffee. Your salary is 20 a week. Talking houses for the next number.
Scooter: Could you make it 25?
Kermit: Are you kidding?! I can't afford it!
Scooter: Gee, my uncle be really disappointed.
Kermit: How about 30?
*talking houses*
House: My wife's not feeling well.
House 2: Oh, sorry to hear it. What's the trouble?
House: Who's got the singles?
*on stage*
Kermit: Uh we're real proud to have with us on the show tonight a gentleman who has two distinct personalities. He's a real country boy who became famous as Gomer Pyle and also he sings everything from pop to opera. So let's give a real Muppet show welcome to Jim Nabors.

Waldorf: Yeah, tell you that like Jim Nabors is a real good sport, a real good singer.
Statler: Ah, l used to live next door to him. He was a real good neighbour *laughs*.
*on stage*
News presenter: There's a Muppet news flash! *sat down in his seat* Billy Lee Boomer a gas station attendant from penny box texas reported a flying saucer landed at his station last night. Said Mister Boomer.
Jim Nabors: I didn't want know guys. They just wanted to use restroom. Can't say he's a blame him said they travelled 83 million miles without a stop.
*backstage*
Wanda: No, l don't know when we're going on either.
Wayne and Wanda walked past Kermit.
Kermit: No, it's a great thing, great thing.
Scooter: Hey Kermit, here's your coffee.
Scooter accidentally spilled coffee on him causing Kermit to scream from the hot drink.
Scooter: Hot, huh? Just the way you like it.
Kermit: Too much sugar.
Scooter: Yeah, well anyway, l just found this fantastic new act.
Kermit: Uh Scooter, l don't have time on the show for a new act.
Scooter: Oh, that's too bad. I found him in my uncle's office. It's his favourite act.
Kermit: Uh... what's the name of the act?
Scooter: Oh, they're called the Dancerols. Oh, they are fantastic, they're out of sight—
Kermit: And they're your uncle's favourite act.
Scooter: Right.
Kermit: I want to do some *went on stage*.
Scooter: Oh boy, hey Dancerols, you're on!
*on stage*
Kermit: Okay uh now with great pride and uh no little fear the international debut of the Dancerols, whatever they are.