Muppets x Female!Muppet!Reader

Season 1 episode 5 - Rita Moreno

Kermit: It's the Muppet show with our special guest star, Miss Rita Moreno.
(Band playing theme music)
Muppets Women: 🎶It's time to play the music🎶
🎶It's time to light the lights🎶
🎶It's time to meet the Muppets🎶
🎶On the Muppet show tonight🎶
Muppets Men: 🎶It's time to put on make up🎶
🎶It's time to dress up right🎶
🎶It's time to raise the curtain🎶
🎶On the Muppet show tonight🎶
Fozzie: My cousin's so dumb. He spent two week's in London trying to find the European common market.
Kermit: 🎶To introduce our guest star🎶
🎶That's what l'm here to do🎶
🎶So it really makes me happy🎶
🎶To introduce to you🎶
Miss Rita Moreno!
🎶But now let's get things started🎶
Muppets: 🎶On the most sensational, inspirational🎶
🎶Celebrational, Muppetational🎶
🎶This is what we call🎶
🎶The Muppets show🎶
                                             —
Kermit walked onto the stage causing a burst of applause.
Kermit: Thank you, thank you, thank you and welcome to the Muppet show. And what the show we got. We have music, comedy and 225 dancing elephants who unfortunately they left costumes in home because they forgot pack them in trucks.
Fozzie: I give him that joke.
Kermit: I wish l give in right back *Fozzie leaves*. But right now, let's get to moving on the special guest star the beautiful, lovely, terrific and talented lovely Miss Rita Moreno.

*backstage*
Kermit: Okay, great number, great number. Hey, would somebody help that guy up the stairs, please?
Miss Piggy: Yeah, she always does, she was but what was l good?
Kermit: Good.
Pig: Piggy, honey, you're a rip snorder.
Piggy laughs. The phone rang.
Kermit: Hey Y/n, can you get that?
Y/n: I get it, Kermit. *picked up the phone* Hello? The Muppet show on backstage.
Water started pouring out of the phone booth.
Kermit: Who was it?
Y/n: The water department *went on stage*.
Kermit: What the heck.
                        *veterinarian's hospital*
Host: And now veterinarians hospital. The continuing story of a former orthopaedic surgeon who's gone to the dogs.
Janice: I'm sorry l'm late, Dr. Bob. I was operating in the other room.
Rowlf: I know, it's the talk of the hospital.
Rowlf listens to Fozzie with a medical device that listens to the lungs.
Fozzie: Booga! Booga!
Rowlf: Cut that out. Let me have the ear thing.
Miss Piggy: *handed to him ear thing* Ear thing, Dr. Bob.
Rowlf: *scratched it* Oh, feels good. Stick.
Janice: *handed to him stick* Stick, Dr.Bob.
Rowlf: Fetch.
He threw the stick. Janice went to pick it up.
Fozzie: What's that all about?
Rowlf: That's my laboratory retrieval.
Janice brought him a stick. Rowlf praised her.
Janice: Thank you.
He licked the stick and threw it away.
Y/n: Oh, what do you think, Dr. Bob?
Rowlf: I think it's man is sick. You ought to see doctor.
Miss Piggy: But Dr.Bob you are a doctor.
Fozzie: That's your opinion. I'm getting out of here.
Rowlf laid him back on the hospital bed.
Janice: Uh, you can't leave, Fozzie. Dr. Bob is the only one who can save you now.
Rowlf: She's right, l saved over 500 last year.
Fozzie: The patience?
Rowlf: No, dollars. Of course, also lost over 100 pounds.
Fozzie: Well, and wait?
Rowlf: No, in England.
Y/n: Dr.Bob, you should be ashamed of yourself. You call yourself a doctor, Dr.Bob.
Rowlf: I never call myself a doctor. They don't come when you call them anyway.
Host: Tune in next week when we'll hear nurse Piggy say.
Miss Piggy: Dr.Bob, you've lost all your patience.
Rowlf: I can't help it. I gotta short temper.
                                      *backstage*
Kermit: Okay, a little shaky, a little shaky, guys.
Miss Piggy: Aha, aha, well, your timing was awful.
Janice: What do you know about time?
Miss Piggy: I know your face would stop a clock.
Piggy and Janice continued to quarrel. Kermit tried to calm them down but then the phone rang.
Kermit: Hey Y/n, can you get that, please?
Y/n: Yeah, Kermit, l get it.
Y/n wiped the sweat from her forehead with a handkerchief, cleared her throat and picked up the phone.
Y/n: Hello? Backstage in the Muppet show.
A huge amount of smoke came out of the phone booth making Y/n cough.
Kermit: Y/n, who was it?
Y/n: The fire department.
Kermit: I think this is what they call a running gag.
A news presenter ran past them.
Y/n: No, that's what they call a running gag.
                                        *on stage*
News presenter: Here's a Muppet news flash!
He fell then got up and sat down in his place.
News presenter: Dateline Fresno, Mister Thomas Galli or Galley spent the last 27 months teaching his pet chicken to dance classical ballet. *looked closely at the text* Last Saturday the chicken pastor auditions and became a member of the Royal Copenhagen ballet. Unfortunately, Mrs Galli didn't wish to move to Denmark, so she fricassied the ballerina for lunch.
Starlet: Speaking of lunch l wonder what the Swedish Chef has up his sleeve?
Waldorf: A summons from the board of health by a wager.
Starlet laughs.
                                        *on stage*
The Swedish Chef sings a little song.
Swedish Chef&Y/n: Børk! Børk! Børk!
The Swedish Chef throws away the spoons and tells them that today you are making flapjacks which are lying on the pan. Y/n pours the prepared flapjack mixture into the pan, they wait 3 minutes, she flips it over and the flapjack sticks to the ceiling making the Swedish Chef and Y/n surprised. Y/n flipped the flapjack over again and it stuck to the ceiling. The Swedish Chef went to extremes picking up a gun. Surprising Y/n and covering her ears in advance. He shot at the flapjacks and they all flew down.
                                     *backstage*
The phone rang.
Y/n: I got it!
She looked at the phone booth and then picked up the receiver.
Y/n: *cleared her throat* The Muppet show backstage.
Coins started pouring out of the phone booth. Y/n immediately collected them.
Kermit: Y/n, who was that?
Y/n: Las Vegas.
                                    *at the dance*
Classical music is playing, couples are slow dancing.
Zoot: *looked at Y/n and Animal* Hey, nice looking couple.
Janice: *also looked at Y/n and Animal* Yeah, but a couple of walk.
Y/n: I hear you come from a broken home.
Animal: Yeah, l broke it myself. One, two, three, tap.
Y/n: AH!
Animal: Tap.
Y/n: AH!
Animal: Ta—
Y/n hit his head hard against hers knocking him out. She raised her head proudly and walked away.
Miss Piggy: *noticed a shark* Oh, there's one ever encounter sharks in these parts.
Pig: Oh no, absolutely not, never. Why do you ask?
Miss Piggy: *saw a shark* Uh... this curious.
Piggy jumped on her dance partner.
Janice: I hear that the president said that you shouldn't panic if you don't have a job.
Zoot: That's easy for him to say. He's got a job.
Lady Snake: *noticed a shark* I don't think we should come to this ballroom anymore.
George: Why?
Lady Snake: It seems to be attracting a little oppressive animal.
George: Mmm, alright. *saw a shark and screamed* A little mind feeling, you right. Let's tango.
They ran away as quickly as possible.
                                *musical number*