Myocardium

Part 45

It's morning again, and I wake up feeling a lot worse than I did when I fell asleep. The perfect moments from yesterday, I remember all of them, but they only accelerate the premature grief gnawing on me when thinking about Rafael's departure. 

Today's Sunday. He's leaving on Thursday. It is now not even five days away and I have absolutely no idea how I will continue living with him gone.

Sasha and Daisy, who accidentally turn on the TV a bit too loudly, are the reason why I initially wake up. I flinch when being ripped out of the dream I don't remember, and notice that my range of motion is restricted to a certain degree. The reason being Rafael, whose chest I can feel pressed closely against my back. He has his arm slung snugly around my waist and I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. 

Slowly enough to not wake him up, I move my hand to his so I can hold it, pulling it close to my chest. I slip my fingertips through the gaps between his knuckles and bend my fingers until their tips rest on the palm of his hand. Being embraced so tightly by someone you care about so much is such a simple thing, but it is so, so lovely. Even better than I could have ever imagined.

I scoot my back closer to him and close my eyes again, hearing how my siblings seem to have settled the TV-situation so that it now runs quietly in the background. However, I can't manage to fall back asleep. Remembering how, in only a few days, I will have to fall asleep again without having him huddle close to me and how I will have to wake up to a cold spot on the bed next to me again seems so unbearable, even though it is what I've been doing all my life. It's crazy how the presence of another person can change one's own life so drastically.

When Rafael wakes up, it's already around 11 a.m., which is such an unusual time for me to get up at. However, I do not have the heart to wake him up, neither do I want him to stop spooning me like this. 

Anyhow, it makes sense that my siblings eventually decide to check on us. A knock and a few seconds is all it takes, and Daisy's already standing at the foot of the mattress, swaying to keep her balance with her feet strongly planted on the soft bed. 

"Good morning, princess," I laugh quietly and rub Rafael's forearm with a bit of force to wake him up. Otherwise, it would be a bit of a struggle for me to wriggle out of his strong embrace. Smoothly, Rafael's body begins moving, I sit up and rest my back against the headboard the moment his arms' grip eases around my waist. Unbothered, Rafael groans sleepily, pushes his shut lips against my arm and turns around to lie on his stomach, facing away from me.

My little sister's eyes light up when she notices the breach of the unfamiliar man's physical connection with me. Immediately, she takes the initiative and stomps over to me to throw herself onto me, demanding the cuddles she just watched Rafael receive.
"Eli, I'm hungry."

She slips under the blanket in the space between me and the edge of the bed, avoiding the foreign object in the shape of another person at all costs. She might have accepted Rafael to spend time with me during the daytime, but I think the concept of him invading my personal space by sleeping in the same bed as me still causes her some confusion and distrust. 

It's okay, if it were anyone other than Rafael, I would not want it to be any other way. That's how I taught my siblings to think, anyway. For a good reason, that is.

"Hungry? Well, sounds like it's time for some lunch then, huh?"I coo, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear while I wrap my arms around her shoulders. Daisy curls up into a ball next to me, resting the side of her head against my chest, making sure I hold her close, so she doesn't fall off the bed.
"Yes, please."

She nods excitedly and grants Rafael nothing but a few curious looks. After cuddling with little Daisy for a moment or two, I send her off to go look for something she'd like to eat in the kitchen. I use the meantime to turn my attention to Rafael, who snoozes calmly next to me with his face buried in the crook of his elbow and his naked back exposed down to his shoulder blades.