The Cheesecake Factory. All of the guys except Y/N were there as Sheldon and Raj argued.
Raj: I'm telling you, if xenon emits ultraviolet light, then those dark matter discoveries must be wrong.
Sheldon: Yes, well, if we lived in a world where slow-moving xenon produced light, then you'd be correct. Also, pigs would fly, my derriere would produce cotton candy, and The Phantom Menace would be a timeless classic.
Raj: Oh, you're so arrogant. If you were a superhero, your name would be Captain Arrogant. And you know what your superpower would be? Arrogance.
Sheldon: You're wrong again. If my superpower were arrogance, my name would be Dr. Arroganto.
Howard (laughs): I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.
Leonard: Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
Raj: Has it occurred to you you're missing the big picture? If you look at neutron scattering data...
Sheldon: Oh, Penny? Penny?
Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.
Howard (after Raj whispers to him): No, no, no. He won. Suck it up.
Penny: Well, I'd ask you guys if you want dessert, but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays. And even if Raj wanted something, he couldn't tell me. Howard won't order anything, but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words pie or cheesecake. And Leonard's lactose intolerant, so he can't eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.
Leonard: Hang on a second. I could have the fruit platter.
Penny: You want the fruit platter?
Leonard: Does it have melon on it?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: No, I can't eat melon.
Penny: Oh, Howard, heads up. Your ex-girlfriend just came in for her shift.
Leonard: When was the last time you saw her?
Howard: Oh, not since we broke up. Wow. How am I going to play this? Sophisticated and relaxed? Friendly, noncommittal? Cold and distant?
(He hides under the table as Bernadette walks by).
Bernadette: Hi, guys.
Leonard: Hey.
Sheldon: Hello. I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened.
Raj: It's one of his best moves.
In the Caltech HR department. A knock was heard at the door before Ms Davis responded.
Ms Davis: Come in.
Y/N entered the HR department still wearing parachute pants.
Ms Davis: You're late.
Y/N: I know, my pants slipped.
Ms Davis: Why, exactly are you wearing those pants?
Y/N: I'm wearing them to keep my testicles away from my body's warm core to keep my sperm from overheating increasing my wife's chances of getting pregnant but I doubt it's working because my wife is still not pregnant.
Ms Davis: Okay, we're going to skip over that and pretend that didn't happen for HR purposes.
Y/N: You asked.
YOU ARE READING
Big Bang Theory (Missy Cooper X Male Reader X Paige Swanson )
FanfictionY/N L/N. A boy originally from Texas who grew up on the same street as the Cooper's. He was good friends with Sheldon both being obsessed with comic books, Star Trek, and Star Wars even Pyshics was able to keep up with him due to his own impressive...
