Reach For The Stars (Dallas Liu & Ian Ousley)

42

Star's POV

2 MONTHS LATER...

Life hasn't been the same since London. Something in me altered after that day. My own existence seemed darker and lifeless. Every now and then, I watch the video I took that day again. Up to now I haven't told a single soul about it, and I don't know if I can. Since doing so would mean accepting what happened to me.

After I left that penthouse I experienced things I never have. My thoughts were devouring me while I was having  crazy hallucinations. I could feel every possible terrible thought yelling at me from inside my skull.

Even though the handprint on my face was slowly disappearing, I still needed to use a lot of makeup to hide it. It seemed to the public as a makeup transformation. My go-to makeup style—light, glowy, and blushed—became more dramatic and full-coverage. I hate it. It's cute, but when I stare in the mirror, it doesn't feel like me.

Even though I was unhappy, my life kept going up. My public persona is thriving. So many exciting events have happened, yet I've felt none of it. Everything was happening at once: perfumes, exclusive merchandise, TV appearances, collaborations. 

Jacob and I began dating, and our relationship has gone public. Ever since that day in London , I have known that I could not have put myself through that if I had not intended to commit. That spark, that magic we shared, felt muted.

However, I've become pretty good at playing the part of being okay. I was the ideal person on the surface, but my emotions were killing me on the inside.

Due to our hectic work schedules and the fact that it took a lot of work for me to communicate with Dallas and Ian, our communication became less frequent. However, whenever we could, we would make a phone call or use Facetime. They believe that this is the best time in my life but they are unaware of how much I cry after we hang off the phone. A part of me wanted to express my feelings to them, but I was unable to do so. I couldn't do that to them, considering how happy they are living in between sets at the moment. 

When I revealed to them that I had begun dating Jacob they didn't agree with it yet they didn't fight back about it, but I could see right through them. It's something they can't change, so they supported me instead.

Besides everything else that has been going on, I've been preparing for the Grammys. At long last, the night has arrived. An extremely important event has lost its meaning for me.

"Are you excited?" As I unveil my outfit, the camera man asks me.

"So excited!" I give the camera a fake heartfelt smile.

My hotel room has been filled with cameras for the last two hours because Vogue asked for me to get ready with them for the Grammys.

I wore a stunning ivory spaghetti strap dress that Blaise sent me, which ended just past my knees, as my red carpet outfit. Beautiful baby pink flowers and hints of greenery are engraved on the garment. It arrived with a lovely ivory shall that was identically designed. Along with off-the-shoulder clothing, that became my signature look. 

"I feel like a princess." Taking a whirl, I say.

A knock on the door occurs, and Jacob is let in.

"Hi, sweet girl." Before giving me a kiss on the forehead, he says. 

In the media, I prefer to keep our public displays of affection to a minimum. Some things we can keep  private.

"Hi." I give him a cheek kiss and grin.

"You look incredible." He examines me.

"Thank you." I become flushed.

"Alright Vogue, we're ready to go." I address the camera.