Reach For The Stars (Dallas Liu & Ian Ousley)

11

Star's POV

The next weeks that followed we were all booked and busy. Between projects we had individually and stuff we did together, we were the focus of the media right now and it felt awesome. The bond between us has been only growing stronger as we are handling this level of fame together. Recently we have been going to a lot of parties and social events.

Another club another song another dance another drink. It would go from work to this repeating throughout the week.

Even though it's only been about a month that I finished my first big tour I was already at the studio working on new stuff. The concept for this album was going to be a bit more personal, I want my fans to get to know me.

As usual on our time off the boys and I were together all the time. Occasionally, I would go to their place but most of the time it was them at my house. They had a room in my home that's basically theirs. I gave them the option of them having individual rooms but they insisted in sharing.

This weekend we rented a cabin in Lake Tahoe to get away from the city and connect with nature. I plan on using this time to continue writing songs. It's been easier to write about my life than it has ever been to try and talk about it.

I've never been the type to open about what I have been through, not even while it was happening. The first time I opened up about it was when I went to therapy after I turned 18.

flashback

"We are going to do an activity today." My therapist tells me.

"Oh okay." I say as I shake in the chair.

Talking about it all gives me anxiety. Therapy is new to me and talking to a random stranger feels odd.

She hands me a sheet of paper and a pencil, "You are going to be writing a letter to your parents as if you were going to send it to them. In this letter tell them how you feel, what you think, or just anything you want to include."

The thought of sharing my feelings with my parents through me into a frenzy. That was never possible.

I nod my head and look down at the paper and begin to write. I would start then erase and go back and forward.

"It's not meant to be perfect, just what you feel."

okay here we go.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I write to you today to let you know that I no longer want either of you in my life. You might call me ungrateful, selfish, and other degrading names but this is what I need to do for myself. For years, when I was under your care, there was not one time where I felt cared for. Both of you always made me feel like I was nothing, and I am tired of feeling like nothing. As my parents you guys should've protected and loved me, but you didn't. I never heard a single "I love you" from neither of you. You were supposed to protect me but you guys took amongst yourself to conflict the pain. There were times where I would have rather been DEAD than continue breathing under your care.

Tears began to quickly fill up the paper and it become soggy.

fuck, this hurts.

End of flashback

"You ready Star?" Ian snaps me out of my thoughts.

I look up to him and Dallas looking at me.

"Y-yeah sorry." I shake my head.

"You're the dj." Dallas smiles.

"I'd hope so." I say and Ian begins to drive.

.