Reach For The Stars (Dallas Liu & Ian Ousley)

53

IAN'S POV

While Star was being assessed inside her home, I sat outside and observed her garden. I was tired from not getting much sleep the night before. It's been challenging for me to comprehend this entire situation. It baffles me how evident the signs were and how unaware I was of them. 

"Hey." Dallas, approaches taking a seat right next to me.

"Hey." 

"What's going on in your head?" He asks. 

"It feels like a lot and nothing at the same time." 

He says, "I get that."

"On Halloween night, I should have listened to you. I dismissed it so fast when you called it." 

"Neither of us wanted it to be true, it's not an easy thing to accept."

"I know but I was still very stupid."

"Ian, don't be hard on yourself for this. Even if we knew we were miles away."

"I guess." I sigh. "I went to go talk to Jacob yesterday." 

"Did you? About what?" 

"To be honest, all I wanted was an answer. But I've got none." 

"I'm sorry. I've got faith we'll get one. Whatever it is, we simply have to give her some time; she is clearly in serious pain." 

"Yeah."

"I actually need to talk to you about something." He informs me.

"Huh?"

"You remember when we went to go pick up Star's stuff from Jacob's?" 

"Yeah that was like two days ago." 

"When you were at your event, Star and I were hanging out at her studio." 

"Okay and?" 

"We um kissed." My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach when Dallas says this.

As I feel my soul leave my body, I say, "Oh." 

"She was drunk, Ian." He goes on. "I didn't know that till she kissed me." 

"I see." I try not to change my demeanor. 

"The scary part was that she had drank so much yet she was acting so normal."

"Why didn't you guys say anything?" I cough softly.

"I honestly wasn't sure if she remembered, and we never really talked about it."

"Oh." 

"But she wanted to tell you."

"Yeah, I'm sure she did." 

"She had an anxiety attack yesterday." He states. "She brought it up when she could finally speak, saying she wanted to tell you, but I told her to not worry about it right now. That I would talk to you."

"I appreciate it, thanks." 

"I hope it's not weird that we have both kissed her." 

"No, why would it?  Our kiss was meaningless." My stomach turns when I say that.

Saying that hurts. It meant something to me. 

"Ugh fuck dude." Dallas groans. "I know the timing is horrible." He gives a headshake.

Please stop talking. I don't know if I can handle more.

"Can I tell you something?" He asks me.

I beg you not to.