Reach For The Stars (Dallas Liu & Ian Ousley)

61

STAR'S POV

"So, how do we make this work? With you traveling on tour, it will become increasingly difficult to maintain the consistency of these meetings. 

"I know but I'm willing to make it work."

"One option is that you see a therapist in each location you go to or we could do online sessions." 

"Online sessions would work better. I don't want to start again with a different person at each stop."

My therapist nods, "You do know this works way better in person, right?"

"I'm aware."

"So with being on the rode for so long how do you plan to keep sober?"

"For starters, I used to take a shot before each show. I will not be doing that." 

"That's an excellent start. What else?"

"Have self control and discipline."

"Will your friends be joining you on this tour?"

"No, only on some stops."

"Who's your support team?"

"My manager." 

"Star you do know it will be very difficult?" 

"I know." I nod my head. 

"Especially in your field, you have access and opportunities that most people do not. You are 100% a million times more likely to relapse than the ordinary person."

"I have five sobriety chips, that should count for something, right?"

"Yes, but this is different. You'll have much more freedom than you do now. You have friends here who you care about. They encourage and guide you to do the correct thing."

While she was not wrong, hearing that stung a little.

"Are you saying I can't do this with out them?"

"No, I'm saying every person needs support. What happens when they go away?"

Can I truly be mad? The last time I was left alone, I went to Jacob's and stole his coke.

"I guess we're about to find out."

We finish our session, and as soon as she goes, I head up to my room to begin preparing for Barcelona. 

Ian and Dallas come into my room and ask how my session went. 

Out of respect, they always ask how it went and never ask for any additional information. But I always feel comfortable telling them about the entire session. 

"I am sure she didn't mean to, but it seemed like she didn't trust me. I think she honestly believes I'll relapse on this tour." I mention tucking my belongings into my luggage. 

"I think she's just giving you the reality of it." Ian says.

"You guys agree with her?"

"I believe you've got this but she's right that the temptation will be there." Dallas says. 

I put down my clothing and say, "Oh."

"Trust me Star, none of us are trying to be harsh."

It takes a lot of work to make people proud of you, yet one mistake can lead straight to disappointment.

"It is important to acknowledge that temptations and triggers will exist. But what matters most is that you do not fall for it." Ian continues.

Dallas says, "And that I believe you are strong enough to fall for the temptations."