Stuck/ R.R.

Chapter 26

"Wow, that's a lot." Brittany replies after I've caught her up to speed. "And how have you been dealing with all this?"

"I really haven't, I guess. It's been one thing after another for a while now. I just been tryna push through it all because I know something new is always coming."

"It's fine to want to be real and recognize that life goes on, but I think we've talked about before how you also have to process things in the moment, J."

"Yea, I know."

"Yea so let's address the most urgent problem, which is you and that man of yours. You know you need to stop avoiding him and talk to him. It sounds like he's just worried about you, and you're keeping him in the dark. Let him in and allow him be there for you."

I nod, "I hear you."

"I'm glad, but actually do what I'm saying too ma'am." She laughs.

"Okayyyy." I laugh.

"Good, we'll address all the other drama later. But I do think some couples' therapy would be good for you guys down the line if mister is okay with that."

"I'll ask." I nod.

"You gone let me see a pic of this mystery guy?"

"Not this time, imma leave you in suspense for a lil while." I laugh.

"Uhhh, you suckkkk." She whines. "Nah but for real, we gone meet again in two weeks?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Perfect, you have my number if you need me before then. Don't be afraid to reach out. Handle your business and I'll talk to you in two weeks." She smiles.

I spend the rest of the week putting off the conversation I desperately need to have with Joe. When the weekend comes, I finally decide to stop putting it off.

"Hey, um can we talk upstairs once the kids are in bed?" I ask as I'm plating dinner.

"Yea of course, I'll be up there once I get the boys down."

I can barely eat as the anxiety swirls in my stomach, making my nauseous. It gets so bad that I just wrap my plate up and place it in the fridge.

"Goodnight boo."  I kiss Liyah as she walks to bed.

I rush to the bedroom trying to beat Joe, hoping to have some time to myself to collect my thoughts. I change into a tshirt and underwear, thinking getting into comfortable clothes will help me relax more. I start pacing the room as my chest tightens even more and my brain becomes consumed by my overthinking.

"It's gonna be fine, everything is fine. Just talk to him. It's fine, it's fine." I repeat to myself.

I feel myself start to tear up, feeling overwhelmed by anxiety as I grab a water from our mini fridge.

"Hey lemme change real quick and then we can talk." I hear as Joe scares me by opening the bedroom door.

I nod as I sit on the bed, fidgeting with my hands.

Once he comes out from the bathroom, he sits beside me on the bed, plugging his phone up and putting it to the side. "This chat has been long overdue, huh? He exhales.

"Yeah, it has been." I nervously chuckle before taking a shaky breath. "I just wanna start by apologizing to you. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have been keeping all that from you and it was wrong of me to be petty and avoid talking to you. I just didn't know to approach the situation."

"I understand. I have been acting passive aggressive as well, so I apologize too. It's just, sitting in that room hearing them all talk about all these health issues that they knew about you, but I didn't kinda hurt me. And I know you don't owe me your life story but it made me overthink about why you didn't feel comfortable enough to share that on you own."