Stuck/ R.R.

Chapter 18

Quote of the Day: Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody 💝
AN: Sorry if this chapter sucks or has many mistakes. I had to rush it out because I wanted to upload a chapter on his birthday. Feel free to kindly point out any mistakes and I will day best to fix them. Leave your comments and feedback.💖

Jazmine's POV:
I really don't know why I lashed out at Joe like that. I was just getting frustrated because he wouldn't drop the subject. Have I been eating less lately? Yes. Is it as big of a deal as he's making it? No.

I feel bad for yelling at him like that, but I'm still a little upset. I think we're all getting on edge now that we spend 24/7 together. Now I'm sitting in the office, writing in my notebook. I use it express my feelings when I feel stressed or depressed to prevent myself from self-harming or anything like that. I call it my notebook of feelings because I refuse to call it a journal, that's just weird.

I've had it for a while, and I started doing this in middle school because I wanted to stop myself from becoming extremely depressed. I've been through rough and hard times, but this notebook has been extremely helpful. It's hard for me to talk about my feelings out loud, so I just write them down for myself. Every now and then, I'll read it to reflect on the past. Nobody knows about this, it's been my secret for years and I plan to keep it that way.

Sometimes I think I should tell Joe about it and let him read it, but then I chicken out. I don't want him to view me as weak, or fragile.

Right now, I'm writing about everything I'm grateful and appreciative for. Doing this helps me focus on all the positive things in my life.

I appreciate the people who love and care for me. I also appreciate the people who love me for who I am. I'm thankful for the gift of life itself. I appreciate everything and everyone God had given me. I'm thankful for my intelligence and knowledge. I'm very grateful for ...

"TiTi?"

"Huh?" I look up and see Jaliyah in the doorway.

"Can I have a snack?"

"Sure let's go get you something."  I say as I close my notebook. We walk into the kitchen and she sits at the bar. "Want some grapes and strawberries?" I ask.

"Mmhhm." She nods. We have been giving her and Trey multiple snacks throughout the day, so they can gain some weight and get their stomachs to the size it should be. It was hard at first because they were used to eating like once or twice a day, and their meals were far too small. Now, it's getting easier and I can see them gaining weight little by little.

As I'm washing the fruit, I can't help but think that some of this is my fault. If I never would have left home, I would have caught it sooner and it wouldn't have gotten so out of hand. I always think if I chose the right job, or if I should have stayed home and worked in a clinic or hospital nearby? Was I being selfish when I took this job with WWE?

I push these thoughts to the side as I walk to table and sit beside Liyah. As we are sharing the bowl of fruit, she looks to me. "TiTi?"

"Yes ma'am?" I look to my niece.

"My daddy and Joe act a lot different from each other, like Joe is really nice to us. Daddy was nice sometimes, but he was mean a lot." She tells me.

I finish chewing my strawberry before I respond. "Well I'm glad you like Joe, but you're right they are different. Your daddy did some things he should not have and wasn't very nice, that's why your here with us. You're gonna stay here with us until your daddy and mommy stop being bad and finally get out of adult timeout. They seem different because they are, and that's ok. They way Joe acts is how your daddy really should be acting." I tell her carefully.