Teen Romance Fantasy

Act 45 (Ch)

I think I never felt as nervous as in the moment when I had been standing right in front of Sarah, having decided to tell her how I really felt. No matter what I tried, I couldn't sleep the night before. My thoughts kept me up the entire time.

What if she doesn't see me that way?

What if she will laugh at me?

What if she doesn't even want to be my friend anymore?

All those questions kept spiralling inside my head. Even though I told myself that everything would be fine, my heart didn't believe me. Eventually I gave up on sleeping. I turned on the lights in my room and sat on my bed for a few minutes. I felt weirdly nauseous. Did I not eat again? Probably but this feeling was somehow different from before. It wasn't exactly just my stomach that had been acting up. My heart was beating loudly and I could have sworn that it was going to jump right out of my chest. 

Have you ever wondered what it feels like when your body is covered in butterflies? Honestly, I haven't. However that was for some reason the only way I could describe that moment. I felt as though millions of butterflies were sitting on my body, covering every part of it until I wasn't visible anymore.

Sometimes they would crawl. Sometimes they would fly. It was tickling me whenever they moved and yet I couldn't laugh. Every time I opened my mouth, I tried to gasp for air but I never got any. The butterflies were killing me and keeping me alive at the same time. They were beautiful. Green and clear, just like crystals.

-

The school was surprisingly empty in the morning or perhaps it had only been the second floor. There were not a lot of classrooms on that floor. Most of them were mainly used as storage rooms. That was why the rumour existed, that this floor was haunted. You wouldn't expect this kind of behaviour from high school students but even we were just children somewhere deep inside our hearts. A child confessing their love to another child. How ironic.

The door to the classroom at the end of the corridor wasn't open just yet. I had been unusually early and not just because of Sarah. At the end of the corridor was a window. I loved watching the people outside through it. Groups of students. Sometimes two, sometimes three, mostly four. Faces covered by black mist. A black and white school environment filled with cold air.

"Why are you always looking out of this window? Is there anything interesting to see?"

A strong scent of cinnamon filled the space around me. Light steps and the aura of a queen. Gentle and yet rough hands that lay on my back. Brown eyes that reminded me of marbles and the strongest British accent in the entire world.

"Not necessarily." I answered calmly as I lost myself inside of Sarah's eyes. Her hands flinched away from me, as she began tapping her foot against the floor.

"Have I ever told you how interesting you are Christian?"

"Not yet."

"Really? Well then, guess now is the perfect time for it. You're interesting."

My eyes bounced between her beautiful smile and her eyes that were deeper than the sea. I started shaking my head rapidly in embarrassment, which made her giggle purely. I couldn't help but smile a little myself.

Soon after a teacher opened the door to the classroom for us. As I entered, I noticed how both Sarah and I seemingly walked in different directions. She set down in the first row. I sat down in the second row. Even now I couldn't bring myself to get closer to her, even though that was what I wanted. I was pathetic. I could only watch her from far away, only ever seeing her back. All the courage inside of me left my body in an instance. I rested my head on the table, hating myself for acting shy again.

"By the way, I heard your math exam went well. That's amazing! I knew you could do it! If you ever need help again, just tell me. I wouldn't mind getting to know your family better. Your mother so nice and beautiful. I guess that's just the kind of thing that stays in the family."

When I looked up, I saw how Sarah smiled up at me with hooded eyes. Despite being as far away as she was, it felt as though she was wrapping her arms around me. This was just the kind of effect Sarah had on me and the reason why I fell in love with her in the first place. Exactly, Sarah was lovely. When I was around her, my world was suddenly painted in colours. Sarah would never mock me or laugh at me. Sarah wasn't Mishka. Sarah was Sarah and perhaps a little bit of someone else.

"Sarah, we're friends, right?..."

"Didn't we already have this conversation? Of course we are!"

"Do you like being friends with me?..."

"Obviously! You're really friendly and always look out for me."

"Well... I don't think I want to be friends anymore..."

Silence. Either I just broke Sarah's heart or she was just pretending to be devastated. Her marble-like eyes were dead. Her expression was dark. Her smile disappeared. Never before had I seen someone's emotions change so drastically. I honestly couldn't have phrased it worse.

"I didn't mean it like that! The thing is, you're amazing. You're lovely and nice and empathetic and so much more. I don't want to be friends with you anymore because I want us to be more than just that."

Again, silence. Devastation turned into confusion. Sarah was at a loss of words. Her face had lost all of its beautiful colour and here I was burning from all the embarrassment. I really mean it, I was sweating and I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. Would my words touch her heart? Would she smile the way she did before? I had no idea. All I knew was that I couldn't turn back anymore.

"I'm not your saviour. I can't stop your sorrows and neither can I fix you. I might never be your hero but that doesn't mean that I won't try. I want to be the one that holds your hand when you need it. For that I'm asking you, will you give me this one chance?"

Sarah didn't say a word. I noticed how her face turned even more read than my own. She was blushing! Surely Sarah didn't wake up this morning thinking that she would get to hear a love confession. Forget what Aisha said! I should have waited for a better moment! What now? I couldn't even look at Sarah! Why in the world did I have to be this cheesy?! Why did I read this comic before coming to school?!

"Sure, why not?" I suddenly heard her saying. Her voice was shaking and yet it felt genuine. I looked at her and instantly my heart began beating fast again. The way she was hiding shy behind her brown hair, set something in motion inside of me.

On that day Sarah and I started dating.