Teen Romance Fantasy

Act 55 (Ch)

So, I didn't go to school that much after our last exams but I seriously didn't expect anyone to care either. Eric and the others already figured that would happen and the school hadn't gotten over what happened the year before. All in all, everyone should have known. Anyone but my very own girlfriend. You don't understand how surprised I was when I opened the door and saw Sarah outside, being worried about me.

"You didn't come to school. I thought something must have happened to you.", she admitted rather cutely. Heat rushed through my veins into my cheeks and I couldn't help but turn red.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't feeling too well the past days. Do you want to come in? I can get you something to drink."

"I want orange juice then!"

"Sure thing.", I smiled.

Minutes later we sat on my bed, each having a glass of orange juice in our hands. Perhaps it was because I didn't have the time to clean up or because this was the first time Sarah came to my place after we started dating but I felt awkward. I watched the tower of comic books next to the door as well as my socks lying around on the floor in disgust. Out of all days, why did this have to happen today?

"Isn't your mother home?", Sarah asked before she took another sip from her orange juice. I watched her soft lips touch the cold glass, before drop after drop flowed into her mouth. Seriously, what was wrong with me?!

"No... she's at work. My mother actually works as an art director at our local newspaper."

"Seriously? That's amazing! I'd love to get an art degree."

I was surprised. I had no idea that Sarah wanted to persuade a career in art. So far I hadn't even given it a thought what I really wanted to do. I mean, I hadn't even decided if I actually wanted to go to college even though I understood just how important it was. My mother once told me that college is the greatest thing in the world. She said that I'd meet people that were just like me. People with the same struggles and with the same ambitions as me. People that were just too perfect to be real.

"Say Christian, are you scared of death?"

"I guess I am. Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious."

"What about you? Are you scared of death?"

"I don't know."

I have no idea when our conversation got so dark or why I didn't feel the need to question her answers. It felt natural to be talking about such topics. I couldn't say such things in front of Eric because I knew just how much he worried about me. Sarah was worried too of course but she wasn't scared of talking about it. In any case, I had a feeling that she even wanted to hear my opinion. My real thoughts and feelings.

"I have thought about it a few times. Every time I end up in the hospital and see my mother cry, I start to think that her life would be so much easier without me."

A moment of silence. Did I say something wrong?

"Better off you say? I guess that's just the way that I feel. Lately I've been wondering on which side I want to be. Life is just hell anyways, so does it really matter if I'm on the other side or not?."

Never before had I seen a person say such bittersweet words with such a bright smile on their face, especially not a face as beautiful as hers. It hurt me to see her like this but even more it hurt me to know that there was nothing I could to help her. In a way Sarah might have been just like me. I wondered if the other side was really that bad as well but I couldn't tell her that.

"But it does.", I answered more confident than I expected.

"How?"

"I'm not on the other side just yet."

Sarah smiled. This time less hurt and more amused. Thank god.

"Guess you're right. I couldn't possibly leave you alone here, considering how much you like to get yourself in trouble."

With a swift motion Sarah jumped up from the bed and landed on her feet. I liked that I didn't have to remind her to take off her shoes before she enters the house. The first time Eric came to visit, he left his shoes on and couldn't understand why we didn't allow shoes inside. Eventually he learned however and even got embarrassed whenever I reminded him of that moment.

"Shit, it's gotten so late already. Simon will kill me if I don't make it on time tonight.", Sarah noticed as she took a look at her phone. My heart skipped a beat, realising that she'd be leaving now. I didn't want her to go just yet. I wanted to keep talking to her. My head hung low. I drowned my selfishness inside my weak heart, hating myself for even thinking that Sarah could possibly chose me over her own life.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to waste your time."

Seconds after these words left my mouth, I felt something on the back of my head. The feeling of comfort coming from Sarah's touch. She didn't really do much. She only patted my head and yet my heart kept racing. The coldness of her hands didn't reach my skin but yet I felt it on the palms of my own hands.

"I came here today because I wanted to see you. I'm your girlfriend, remember? I wouldn't be doing all of this if I thought of you as a waste of time."

She continued to gently pat my head as I let her words sink in. I had heard those words countless times before but never did I think anything of them. Those words were meaningless custodies in order to make me feel better but when Sarah said them, I really wanted to believe that they were her honest feelings.

When I raised my head to look at her, all I could see was the beautiful glimmer inside her usually soulless eyes. Eric once told me that he could always tell if I was lying by looking at my eyes and I guess I finally understood what he meant by that. Those gorgeous brown eyes of hers were like a portal to her heart. Broken? Sure but at the very least honest.

"I love you."

The words just left my mouth. I didn't even get the chance to think about it and normally I would have died out of embarrassment but this time it was different. I didn't feel the need to hide myself from her. On the contrary, I wanted her to see me. Succumbing to my deepest desires, my hand reached for hers. The moment I slung my fingers around her wrist, she stopped patting my head and instead looked me deep into my eyes. My fingers slowly made their way to her palm and instantly I noticed just how cold her hands really were. They weren't small or soft like in all those romance movies which I had begun to watch (for research purposes of course).

Neither one of us said a word but our fingers began to intertwine perfectly. Somehow I was longing for her touch. It pulled me in like a magnetic force. Slow but steady until all I could remember was that feeling of our lips touching, while breathing in the smell of her perfume.