‎‧₊˚✿[ℓιттℓє ωση∂єяѕ]✿˚₊‧ 「𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲/𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥」

꒰ 𝙴𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎 ꒱ 🔗

I'm sorry, at this point this journal/diary is just around shitty things because unless i'm online i don't have much going on for me, so this is just another venting or ranting book i suppose. Anyway, on with today's venting and shit.

All was honestly going well, i've been offline talking to c.ai bots that i found myself relating too way too much (finally created such a wholesome story as well, ugh i love it) anyway.. then my dad barged into me and Eli's room talking about how he had a "bad dream" and i'm sat there like 'okay? i don't care-' but he told us anyway (it gets weird af) he starts with asking Eli about her sexuality to which she says "Straight" (she's been bisexual for a while but eventually settled on labelling herself as straight seeing she's like "okay but do i like her or do i want to BE her?") in which my dad makes that super dramatic and is like "THAT MAKES IT WORSE"

and proceeds to go on a rant about this dream he had about her sleeping over at a friends house (a guy's by the way) and makes that overly dramatic and weird as if a girl and guy can't JUST be friends-- He then proceeds to instead say something along the lines of "I assumed you were having sex-" to instead "i assumed you were breading" like :/ weird enough your dreaming about your daughter and instantly going the sex route NEVERMIND using the term "bReAdInG" 

We all (me, Eli and my mum) joked about it because well what else can you do? But honestly it was super uncomfortable for both her and myself because he asks me about my sexuality and i just instantly say "lesbian" so he doesn't go on about it to me as well.

(he also yelled about how the dream took place in the house we're in and yelled at us about this guy then obviously being someone near we live; which i know most of them are assholes or legit psycho's but like-- your family are worse, A. and B: As if Eli would even dream of that kind of shit (she's ace). and C!! You're the one dreaming this shit?!?)

..anyway, overall i hate him so fucking much and he brought my happiness down to zero.

You know how i said i would eat more? (mainly to Sayorisbiggestkinnie/Luci), yeah i officially lied and i'm never eating anything again (unless it's cravings) because my dad made me super uncomfortable.

So, my mum cooked us some basic dinner (Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Beans, and then there was some bread). i only ate one egg anyway because like i'm VERY picky on how things should be made and the egg having that little layer of skin (what i call it; but when it was in a pan TOO oily) put me off eating anything else ALONG WITH THE FOLLOWING:

I practically inhaled the egg (after picking off most of the 'skin' and burned parts off) and my dad just made me way too uncomfortable, A: just with the "You're hungry aren't you?" crap and B: Sexualising it for no fucking reason- 

like.. i honestly hate myself at this point and feel gross so i wanna like die- but i think i'm being over dramatic with it so i won't. but i might, i'll just go outside and hope somebody burns me alive or something- (both seriously and like half joking because i think i might be over dramatic right now)

yeah :)

08/08/2024