Timeless Love

Chapter Nineteen

Y/N POV

It has been weeks since I've come back to my time and I miss Tom. I miss his voice, touch, the way he hugged me, loved me, the way he would get annoyed. I miss him so much it's eating me alive and I don't know how much more I can take.

I'm sitting in my room crying as 3rd class passed by. I've barely been going to class lately because what's the point if he's not there? If I don't have someone to be better than? To tease when I get a better grade? I want Tom.

I heard a knock on my door and hurried to clean my appearance up before opening the door to Pansy.

"Girl where have you been? What is up with you? Come spell the tea." Pansy walked in with a bag of snacks and drinks laying them on my bed and sitting down with me.

"You can't tell anyone...." I say laying on her shoulder.

"When do I ever?" Pansy wrapped her arms around me as I began crying again.

"I went back in time to stop Voldemort.."

"The made up story guy?"

"He wasn't made up before I went back in time... He was real. He killed my family and my friends' family... I stopped it though.."

"Well that's good, right?" Pansy started to play with my hair.

"Ya... But I fell in love.. I broke his heart and I miss him and I can't live without him..." I began to sob uncontrollably. Pansy tightened her hug.

"At least we know you love..."

"I want Tom back..." I cried.

"I know, I know." Pansy rubbed my back. "It's ok I'm right here."

I cried into Pansy's shoulder for a while skipping class and surprisingly dinner. After I drained all my tears we sat there for a while just eating snacks.

"Are you going to try and get him back?" Pansy asked while eating some candy.

"I don't know..." I leaned against my headboard torn between my love but also the knowledge of Tom hating me.

"I would. Y/N you finally a dude you can't just stop fighting for him because you broke his heart... Explain it to him. Win him back. Your Y/N M/N L/N for crying out loud." Pansy got on her knees with the energy I can only dream of having.

"It's not that simple." I got up and went to take a shower. I can hear Pansy's upset sigh as she left my dorm.

After my shower I crawled into bed after cleaning it up and started to cry again.

I can't live without Tom no matter how hard I try. I know nobody will come close to him. He was once in a lifetime. And I had to go and ruin it all because of some family I never knew. I messed up. I want Tom. I need Tom. I love him.

I weeped till I fell asleep.

Tom POV

  I hate her. I opened up to her and she took advantage of me. I told her things I thought I would never share in this lifetime. She used me for her own selfish reasons.

That's what I wish I felt. But no. All I can think about right now is how much I miss Y/N and how she used to kiss me, smile at me, tease me relentlessly... Was it all fake? Did she really love me or was it all a stud?

It has been weeks and I turned back into my cold distant self again. With Y/N I thought I would never have to be this person again but now... It feels like the only thing that this world has to offer me. Loneliness. Sadness. Pain. Suffering. All the torture one can't even dream of.

Abraxas, Maria, and most people in this school have been boiling with hatred from the moment Y/N left. They all think she went back to her old school because of me. I wish that was the case, but no. She went back to her present time leaving me here. I wish I never found out about her lie. I wish she loved me as much as I love her. I wouldn't have left. But she did. I really forced her to leave. But having her here would make me even more hurt, knowing that I could run back at any given moment. She scares me. She does things to me I thought were made up. Like love.

I thought love was something in the books, in the movies, but in reality.. It's amazing in every way possible. Theres this feeling inside that begging to come out and when it gets out you can't smiling and feeling warm inside. You walk around every corner hoping you'll see them. You hope that everyone who talks to you is them. And when you do have them it's like a kid in a candy store.

Y/N was my candy store and I couldn't stop myself from going back over and over again craving everything she had to offer me.

I sat on my bed while writing in my dairy. The pages since Y/N left had gotten longer and longer. I filled them with my sadness and anger. I wrote how I felt about every little thing me and Y/N use to daily and how I want her back.

Tonight was no different. I wrote two pages of just how I wished Y/N was here in my arms telling me she loved me and every single detail I could think of. Her hair, eyes, smile, the way her lips moved, the way she looked at me, her everything.

Something dripped down onto my paper. It was wet and sank into the paper like water. It was water. A few more fell. Stop it, pull it together. A few more.

I placed my dairy down and laid in bed as tears streamed down my face and left marks. She was really gone and there is no getting her back.

I was crying. I barely know what crying is and yet I'm crying. If I ever felt like crying I held back. It was stupid and idiotice. But for Y/N? I would do anything for her. So I cried. I cried till I couldn't. I felt like passing out.

The next morning when I woke I could feel dried snot outlining my nose and tear streaks down my face. I didn't bother getting out of bed. I stayed for hours on end either crying, daydreaming, sleeping, or writing. What else was there? Y/N was gone and I have no say in the matter. I hope she has a good life now.

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