MATURING!!

LITTLE HOPE ⁉️

I woke up with the baby next to me sleep, I put my hands on my throat because it was so sore. I cried because he choked me until I passed out while my baby was right in the other room. I got up quietly I didn't want him to come in here and know I was woke.

My face. That's all I could say, I had a busted lip with a purple ring forming on my left eye. I had dried blood on my nose and my hair was everywhere. I had to use the bathroom, I shut the door because he was going to hear me for sure. I couldn't shut the door fully before he busted in

" what the fuck are you shutting the door for" he was still mad like I wasn't the one that should be mad

" I didn't wanna wake up the baby" I lied, he was just looking at me for a while " I cooked something"

I washed my hands and left out the bathroom following him in the kitchen. It was a grilled cheese with some chicken noodle soup that we brought when we first got here

" thank you" I sat down at the island and ate it

" When you done come sit over here" I nodded my head because my mouth was full. I ate fast because I didn't eat all day, this was the best "meal" he had ever made.

I was done so I went and sat next to him on the couch we started watching a movie, so he pulled me closer to him. I didn't wanna fight so I let him.

I was almost sleep when he spoke up

" I didn't bring you here to fight you, I came here to try to make up for the shit I did. I don't know if the baby mines in not gonna lie about it. When we get back Imma handle that" instead of just leaving he rather keep cheating. He wanted his cake and eat it too

" Melo we can love each other from a distance, I'm not saying this to make you mad or make you hit me. But I would rather be alone than deal with the constant arguments, hits, threats, and betrayal. Melo I'm tired I would rather die than to keep putting myself through what you put me through. You're going to kill me and I don't wanna leave Rae before she even has a chance to know me. I want to be there for her, to watch her grow, to protect her. But I can't do that if I'm constantly living in fear, constantly looking over my shoulder, wondering when the next blow will come."

Melo sat in silence, his eyes fixed on the screen in front of us, but I could tell he wasn't really watching the movie. His jaw clenched and unclenched, his hands resting on his knees, fingers twitching as if he was trying to restrain himself from something—maybe from lashing out again, maybe from the truth that I just laid bare between us.

"you keep doing it. It's like... it's like you can't help yourself. And maybe that's true. Maybe you can't. But I can't keep letting you do this to me. I can't keep letting you hurt me, hurt Rae, even if it's just by seeing how broken I am. She deserves better. I deserve better."

He sighed deeply, but never said anything just like he usually do

I sat there for a moment crying my eyes out he was rubbing my back, I was trying to process everything, the reality of my situation sinking in deeper than ever.

" I'm going to lay with the baby" he nodded his head, he always got silent when the truth was spoken

Finally, I stood up, my legs shaky but determined. I walked into the bedroom where Rae was, her little chest rising and falling with each peaceful breath. I sat down on the edge of the bed, watching her, feeling the weight of everything I had to protect her from.

"I promise you," I whispered, more to myself than to her, "I will never let you go through what I'm going through. I will get us out of this. I don't know how, but I will."

And for the first time in a long while, I felt a small flicker of hope, buried deep beneath the fear and the pain. A flicker that told me I still had some fight left in me. And that was enough, for now. I laid with her and put her on my chest I needed baby more than ever. I was almost in a deep sleep when he came and laid in the bed pulling us to him...
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Me and the baby had been up since 5:30 this morning, I knew she was gonna wake up early because she went to sleep super early last night. We were leaving today, so I made sure to pack everything up. I was ready to go get the test over and done with because if that was his baby, I was leaving dead or alive.

" RAEEELYNNNNNN" she was teething so she wouldn't stop crying. I just wanted to go back home because I was exhausted, my mind still reeling from the night before. I picked Rae up gently, cradling her against my shoulder as I walked back and forth in the small room. "Shh, it's okay, baby. Mommy here," I whispered, trying to soothe her.

But the more I rocked her, the more frantic her cries became. I could feel my own heart racing, the familiar dread creeping back in, a reminder of how I felt trapped in this life with Melo. I couldn't let the fear of him dictate my actions, not anymore. I would do what I had to do for Rae.

I set Rae down on the bed for a moment and rummaged through her bag, hunting for the little teething ring I knew I had packed. Finally, I found it and handed it to her. She grasped it tightly, her little fingers wrapping around the cool plastic, and for a moment, her cries softened.

Just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, Melo appeared in the living room. He stood there, his expression unreadable. "What's going on?" he asked, a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Rae's teething," I replied, trying to keep my tone neutral. He came and grabbed her from me, she tried to bite his face and I laughed.

" Mama chill" he was mad because she was scratching him. He went to the freezer to get ice, put it in a cloth, and put it on her gums. She shut up immediately.

" you packed everything" he came back into the living room sitting on the couch

"Yeah we're about to leave right" he nodded his head. I still had to pack the bathroom up so that's what I was going to do

"Kay" I stopped in my tracks " I love you more than this world"

" I love you too Melo" I don't know why what he said made me feel uneasy but it did