a Story

a Story XXI

August 19th 2024:

I hate it when they keep telling me to work as if I am doing nothing but watching videos and wasting my time on shit, I too am a human, I need rest, sitting on the same chair for hours is getting me sick, literally, and I am even gaining weight like that. Each time I move, each time I stop writing on the book, they keep criticizing me, they keep threatening me, they keep comparing me, I hate them when they do it, and even if I asked them to stop, they continue, but one day all these voices will stop once and for all, I will stop them, and they will obey, because they will have nothing to do but watch, I wish that day will come soon.

I talked to her about her, she too found her cute, she is supporting me, she gave me a bit of hope, that's nice of her, knowing that she is passing a bit of harsh time right now with her studies and future in general, I am helping her with what I can, because I have been there, and I have known people who have been there, it is hard, and I don't want close ones to live that hard life anymore, it destroys you, it breaks you, it makes you lose hope, and fall down deeper in that bottomless dark pit.

August 20th 2024:

It is going to be really ironic right now, but my mother is crazy. Why is it ironic? Because she just said that my sister will pay for saying that, she is fucking crazy, and she knows it, and she still doesn't accept it, that's crazy. She ignores everything for the sake of her pride, even her children, even her mother, my grandma, even her older sister, she is crazy. But little did she know, her son is crazier, not with her same craziness, but crazy enough to pull insane moves that will make her consider her own sanity.

I can't see my life without her, if she isn't there, I won't be surviving much next year, I don't even see myself doing anything next year, I don't see any good outcomes, just pain, suffering, that will eventually end with death, and only the worst ways to die are coming to my head right now, with starving on top of the list.

August 21st 2024:

I have been listening to these three songs, from an artist called "Lorn", and damn he is good at what he is doing, especially "Anvil", I have been listening to it for hours right now, it just feels peaceful, I like this song, it is very good. I don't think most of my friends like this genre, I was on a call with my friend on discord and he listened to it a bit, I guess he liked it, since we were working on math it helped me focus.

August 22nd 2024:

I can't, I just can't, this mother is going crazy, when we told her to stop sweeping the floor and continue later since we are working, she proceeds to ignore everything we said, and move the table, chairs, and making everything fall, the Internet router, that she picks up using its cable, the power-bank, that will certainly catch fire if it falls hard like that again, and even my cable, that powers up my computer. And when we started complaining, she started yelling, my aunt came to check on what's happening, and started monitoring her, she is literally a kid that thinks his life is the hardest in the world and that he is the best in the world at everything. I can't live like this, I am going to kill someone at this rate, it will be either me or her, because we are polar opposites, I can't agree with her anymore, each thing she does, she thinks of it as right and no one shall intervene, little did she know that such behaviors end with genocides and family murders.

August 23rd 2024:

It's either me or her, I can't carry on with this anymore. She brought me here to make me suffer, to put all her suffering on me, she never knew how to raise. I hate her, I hate her. I'm human too why don't you treat me like one. You keep treating me like a pet, "Feed him and shelter him, that's all he needs". I'M A FUCKING HUMAN. You treat me awfully I won't like it, you keep doing it I will get rebellious. She isn't aware of how good I am compared to other fuckers, the examples are right in front of her house, and still takes me for granted. I need to show her that her ''education '' is wrong, her perception of educating us will make her lose everything, her family, her friends, she will die alone with no one visiting her grave. And you call me ''crazy''? Are you even aware of your words? Do you even look at yourself in the mirror?

If only everything were to end right now, at this moment, music is blasting my ears, my favorite song, the story is right in front of me, only thing I am missing is me telling her directly that I love her, but I think my friends will take care of that. Death will end so many problems, it is the best solution for everything, it ends everything, abruptly or slowly, it just makes everything get to a conclusion, something that I surely lack right now.