Calculated Coincidence

Forty Three

ALESSIA AMATO

I cry and I cry and I feel like I've been crying for hours. Tears wet my face and I sob, my breathing heavy, as I sit, slumped against the wall. Cradling my knees to my chest, I stare at the rain which hasn't stopped falling, darkening the sky.

Liam left after my words and I haven't stopped wondering if he got home safely. If he still loves me. If there isn't a happy ending destined for us. If my heart will ache so agonisingly for the rest of my life.

My throat is sore and I feel a headache will greet me soon. I feel tired. Tired of crying, worrying, finding out things which get worse as they come. That man's able to kill, able to put a chip inside of me, able to lie throughout a whole relationship. And for what?

He claims it's for me, for us. For us to be together forever. Do I believe him? Honestly, I do. What other motive would he have? He's got money and power, and I'm in no position to give him those.

But why would he go to such extreme lengths for me? I don't remember ever meeting him, he's never approached me. Maybe he's the type of person to go big or go home, and that's why he prepared this whole fiasco.
I grab my forehead and sigh. I'm too tired for this.

Deciding to wash up and get ready for bed, I head to the bedroom when I'm done. I get under the covers, ignoring the eerie feeling creeping up my spine. The darkness behind my closed eyes and loud droplets of rain hitting against my windows make me shiver.

The bed is cold. Liam's bed was never cold. I was always surrounded by his sweet smell, calm breathing and warm, comforting touch. I felt safe and loved, here I feel unsure, cold and... lonely.

I sit up when I feel the anxious feelings overwhelming me. My muscles are tense and my heartbeat is speeding. I grab my head and focus on breathing. In and out. In and out. It's okay, Alessia, you're okay. Being alone is good, you need to learn to be independent. You're not a child.
I cover my mouth with my trembling hand and stare at the wall.

The infuriating man was just here so why do I miss him so much already? Will we ever find a way out of this situation? Will I ever trust him again? Will I even be able to forgive him? Will he even wait to find out? My breathing gets heavier as the thoughts swarm my nervous mind.

What if he moves on and finds comfort in another woman's arms? Oh, God. I wouldn't be able to get through that. Burning tears fill my eyes as I imagine my Liam with another woman. Him smiling at her, holding her, being possessive about her. No.
No, no, no.

The small, dark room is filled with my sobs and heavy breaths while I feel like my pathetic world is falling apart. My hands find their way to my pounding head and pull at the roots of my hair, and I start rocking back and forth.
My heart, the organ in my squeezing chest, it's hurting. It's sad, betrayed and lonely, and it's hurting.

My phone ringing loudly from beside me startles me and I stare at the taunting name on the screen. It's as if he can sense my despair. What does he want? What does he have to say? Alessia, please come back. I love you. I can't breathe without you. Are we really over? Will you mind if I move on? When can you come get your stuff?

I can't take this, I feel like I'm losing my goddamn mind. Taking the phone into my hand, I decline his call and decide to call Mia for help. My best friend picks up not long after.

"Hello?"

"Mia, I don't feel well." I sob, feeling nauseous, when I hear her consoling voice.

"Alessia? What's going on? Are you okay?" The woman asks, worry loud and clear.

"Can you please come to my old apartment?"

"Of course. What happened?"

"I'll tell you when you get here. Can you sleep here tonight?" I ask, wiping the fresh tears off my face.

"Yes. Yes. I'll be there soon." She assures.

"Okay." I say, breathing with relief, and end the call. You won't be alone soon. You won't be alone.

The thought calms me down but that's short lived because my phone rings again. Once I see the caller, I decline once again. I don't want to speak to him, he knows just what to say to change my weak mind. He can easily use his tempting words against me. It wouldn't take him much work.

Hubby<3: Alessia, answer the call.
Hubby<3: Don't ignore me, my love.
Hubby<3: I miss you.

"Should've thought about it before you lied to me, you dick." I scoff, although my heart clenches at his words.

My love. I miss you. I miss him too...