✮𝔦𝔱𝔰 𝔰𝔬 𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔶✮

ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᵉˡᵉᵛᵉⁿ

𝐘/𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐯: axl was sitting in front of me I'm reading my best friends suicide letter to me I have every emotion flowing through my body, I was mad at Izzy until I heard him saying the only reason why he didn't do it a second time today was because of me, how is that supposed to make me fucking feel, I didn't even know he wanted to kill himself, he made a fucking letter for crying out loud, the note read

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐘/𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝.𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐢 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐱𝐥. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐢 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐱𝐥. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐦 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐢 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬
-𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧 ❤︎︎

I broke down in fucking tears reading the last part of the note, all he wants is me, I can't just leave axl for him, and no fucking way I can show axl the note, but when I looked up axl was in tears too, I have never seen axl cry, he was reading the note Izzy gave him. His eyes were red and full of hate and guilt and regret I have never seen him like this. "He always had a way with his fucking words." Axl laughed trying to stop himself from crying, I try to give him a little fake giggle but it didn't work I just started breathing more heavy and felt my eyes starting to strain, "I feel so fucking guilty." I utter under my breath over my crying, "why, what did he say in yours." He try to look over I just closed it immediately, "no" I said flat out, he looked at me with shock, "oh okay, I'm sorry honey, I can't even imagine what he wrote for you." He spoke reaching his hand out for a hug to give me, I leaned in his arm and just cried, "can we go to bed, I don't want to cry anymore axl, I can't do this anymore, the pain just never goes anyway." I said going limp into his arms, "um I know this is a bad time, but I have Izzy's stash, I have done this before, and it made me feel relief, I know I know, I sound crazy but I will trash it the second we're done." I was stunned he said this to me, why did I want to? Why did that sound like a good option right now? "Yes." I said straight forward, he looked at me with big eyes still a little bit puffy and red, I knew he had to be torn up about this is he really thought about doing this, so that's why I knew this wasn't the best option but it was a choice and I was going to fucking make it, I'm not going to be a junkie but one time won't hurt right?

axl gets up and walks over to his drawer where he had put everything, out on the bed, the needle, the band, the spoon, the lighter, "are you sure you want to do this, I can't just throw it away." He looked at me while laying everything out nicely, I nod my head, "how do i , um do it." I look down not trying to be stupid, "do you want me to do it for you hun." He looked at me with a glaze over his eyes, "yes, please would you." I ask desperately, he pats the bed where he wants me to sit, I give him my arm, he wraps this blue rubber band around my arm, and ties a little knot so my veins are more visible for him to shoot it up, he grabbed the spoon, put the drops of liquid on the spoon lighting it up, with the lighter, and it starts bubbling , he grabbed the needle and looked at me "you sure you still want to do this baby, I don't want to pressure you." He said rubbing his thumb over my veins, "I want to do this axl, it's fine really." I say giving him a smile, he nodded and did it, oh my shit, I felt like I was finally at bliss with everything, I didn't care about anything, I felt nothing but happiness, and axl touch my skin to see if I was okay, it felt euphoric, I couldn't compare to anything this was something I have never experienced before, this ecstasy I was feeling, I looked over and I saw axl doing himself next, as he stuck the needle in his arm and shoot it into himself I could see his eyes turn more green, and become at ease with everything, I have never seen him so happy and beautiful, he looked so gorgeous, "baby does that feel good." He said this while running his finger up my thigh, it covered my body in chills, but it felt so wonderful, all it did was turn me on, I didn't even know you could get horny off this shit, "touch me ax" I asked so desperately reaching my hand over to him, turning over and looking him with his hair shining so beautifully in the moonlight, since his window was slightly widen, I still couldn't believe he was all mine, I have never felt so happy, axl looked at me and ran his finger all the way to my panties and moved them to the side, and started to rub my clit ever so gently, it drove me over the wall, my senses were so heightened I felt every little thing, but in this case I was in eternal bliss, I buckled my hips up as he started to pleasure me, he just smiled and gave me wet sloppy wet kisses all over my body, he slowly to slide his middle finger into me, it felt like he put his whole member was in me, i was so sensitive, Jesus why haven't I done this shit sooner, he slowly lifted my shirt and released my breasts from my shirt, and licked from the bottom to my nipple, and sucked on the tip of my tit, it felt amazing,astonishing,bewildering, all the above I have never felt this good in my whole life, he slipped another finger into me and I became even wetter, "does this feel good princess." He asked me lifting his head from my breast, "yes" I breathed out, he started to move his finger in a "come here motion" and that threw me over the edge, I started to moan uncontrollably, I felt his hand grab my mouth so softly stopping me from making sound, "baby we can't be loud, shhh." He said softly into my ear, my back arched as he said this, I felt so good it was unbelievable, I could feel his bangles in his wrist on my inner thigh, I felt like I could feel the veins on his hands I felt every part of his hand in me, this had to be the best sensation I have ever felt, and axl fucking rose was doing this to me, couldn't make it any better, I could feel my climax right around the corner and I think he knew that too, "baby faster please." I begged him, he did as he was told, "like this honey." He was fingerfucking me so hard and fast at this point, my legs were shaking, and pulsing, "are you going to cum for me princess hmm." He praised me he stared to rub my clit with his other hand that was previously covering my mouth, and after a few more thrusts with his fingers throwing me over my euphoric climax, I threw my head back onto the pillow behind me, and I creampied all over axls hand, his eyes opened in shock, "I'm sorry baby." I said barely functioning, "no need, this is amazing baby." He said putting my underwear back on and slipping my skull sweatpants on that I left here the other day, laying right next to me holding me with the little to no energy he had, "baby I love youuu soo muchh-"  he spoke before nodding out, I smiled looking at him with my eyes glazed, just happy that I was finally at peace and no anxiety, no sadness, no anger, I finally understood why Izzy did this to himself, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was, I laid a kiss on his forehead "I love you too handsome."

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭:𝟏𝟓𝟗𝟔

𝐈𝐬 𝐚𝐱𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲/𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐩? 𝐈𝐬 𝐚𝐱𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐲𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞?