✮𝔦𝔱𝔰 𝔰𝔬 𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔶✮

ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰⁱʳᵗʸ ˢᵉᵛᵉⁿ

𝐘/𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐯: I was honestly confused. Why was I going to party in the middle of the day. I thought I was going to be in the hospital with axl for the next few days, now I'm going to get drunk or high with duff mckagan and Izzy fucking strandlin, HUH?

what has my life come too, I didn't even really want to be around Izzy in this moment, I still can't process what happened. "Come on, let gooooo." Duff whined like a child as I was giving a kiss to axl before leaving, I just felt duff pulling on my arm, he is quite literally a child, it was cute though. I honestly loved being with duff, we have finally been getting closer, he was very sweet about the whole pregnancy, he was honestly excited, he said he was going to be "uncle duff" I thought it was very cute, duff was a great guy, especially when it came to kids, he seemed like he would be a great father, I knew he would be one in the future.

I was still baffled that I'm going to party for no reason in the middle of the day. "LETS GET FUCKED UPPP." I heard Izzy shout from the back of my van, duff was jumping like child very excited for this adventure, Jesus Christ, only thing I could say, I didn't even know where I was driving too, I was just going to go to my place since I had boozes, I still felt terrible for leaving ax at the hospital even though he told me to leave, i honestly was still so confused why i was doing this.

When we got to my place, duff laid himself on the couch, bucking his hips forward, fiddling with his pocket, pulling out a baggy of Coke, I knew duff did Coke, it wasn't the biggest deal, really everyone did drugs in the band, everyone had there own choices, I just hated when axl would do the worst of the worst. Same with Izzy. If Izzy did Coke or shrooms, I wouldn't care too much. Maybe even OxyContin, that shit was really addictive though. I had my dance with lady of blue. OxyContin is an opioid. HIGHLY addictive. It was used for many things. Depression,pain, anxiety a lot of shit honestly. It never helps anyone though. Shit shouldn't even be legal, it was prescribed to me because of depression,bipolar, anxiety, blah blah blah, mental shit, I have only went to a psych clinic once, basically told me I was a psychopath, fucking pissed me off, so when I left that prick of a doctors office, I knew that motherfucker just wanted to get a pay raise since I was one in a million.

I was a psych doctors wet dream. But I was extremely depressed so I took his note without him knowing and payed for the meds. I was hooked. It made me feel better than ever. It was a downer. But Jesus. I felt like a was always in a bliss cloud. I would do it a million ways. Snort it,take it like a pill, crush it and lick it, I'm fucked up I know, I just got bored doing it the normal way.

Axl found me shorting it once, looked at me like I was crazy, because he thought it was coke, I never really did coke, I dabbled with it. Never got hooked. It just made me feel itchy, my heart pound out of my chest, nose bleed a few times. Just never liked it. Axl on the other hand. He liked that shit. It made him more energetic, didn't even know that was possible, when I was in Izzy's green room, they were doing a show, axl took a line from me, I yelled at him saying that wasn't Coke, his eyes went huge. Let's just say the show wasn't the best. He almost passed out like ten times. It was bad. I told him what it actually was. He got upset. Before we were even dating he had a soft spot for me. He didn't want me to be on that shit. He saw how it effected me, I was just honestly even more unhappy, I was always numb. Didn't care about anything. Didn't want to do anything. Nothing. He saw that. Then he rehabbed me for the next weeks or two. It was terrible. Every moment. The cold shakes from the sweat falling threw my eyebrows, my body was always shaking. Having my emotions high high the low low. Especially when you have mental issues that effects your personality it was even worst. My highs were me wanting to go to a party and fucking random dudes and acting like a stripper the my lows were wanting to literally end someone's life. It was terrible. Fuck I love axl.

"Want some?" Duff offered his coke to me or Izzy, Izzy hopped onto the couch, rubbing his nose in the substance, then his head shot up when he finished his line, his eyes went bright brownish yellow, his eyes had almost no pupils, rubbing his eyes in shock, Izzy rarely did coke to my knowledge, I walked over sitting next to Izzy with a bottle of whiskey in my hand, always had a thing for jack. Izzy looked over at me, had a huge smile on his face, I rubbed the white powder off his nose, then Izzy leaned in grabbing my face, I pushed away in shock, he flung his head back, "Izzy no." I laughed taking a swing of my bottle, they chasing it with sprite since I didn't have coke, he pouted his lip, duff was miles away, all I knew that he was happy, vodka and coke. His paradise city. Izzy felt Izzy place his hand on my thigh gripping it honestly hard and firm, "Izzy I will choke you." I laughed, slapping his hand away, then crossing my legs, "I already did that." Izzy spoke, where did this man get this kind of confidence. Izzy was the shy kind guy, this man just turned into a player. Why did I love it. Not in a sexual way. In a friend way. It was honestly funny.

"Shut up iz." I slapped his face lightly. He grabbed my hand after I hit him, staring into my eyes with a lustful dominate look. Kind of hot. But no no. When he grabbed my hand, he didn't even say anything. Or even do anything. Just stare at me. That's all he needed to do.

"Stop eye fucking each other." Duff gagged, maybe he wasn't in his own world. I just laughed in embarrassment, Izzy let go of my hand, duff was in a good mood. He had to be. He offered me vodka! I felt very special.

"Hey y/n, I'm sorry about everything. Izzy told me." Duff slurred his words, putting his head on my shoulder, I rubbed his bleached blonde locks, we have a bond. It wasn't romantic in any way. He felt more like a brother more like a cool uncle. We could do shit like this and feel perfectly normal. I'm glad I started to build my relationship with him. I loved hanging out with they guy. Even though he was a little of a drunk. "Thank you duff, but I think you wanted it more then me." I said to him in a playful tone. He looked up at me, with a cheeky smile, he knew I was right. "Well why don't you just try again?" Duff questioned, frowning his brows, "it's not that easy hun, I don't want to go through the same thing again. Since I already have a history with it." I explained to duff. I knew he was being sweet. He just wanted to help.

Fuck I wish it was that easy.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟏𝟑𝟑𝟎

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?