✮𝔦𝔱𝔰 𝔰𝔬 𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔶✮

ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᵗʷᵉⁿᵗʸ ᶠⁱᵛᵉ

𝐈𝐳𝐳𝐲𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯: it's been a few days since I got kicked out of axls me and y/n have talked since then, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She is all I want, and it sucks that i know I can't have her. I can't even have hope anymore, she is all I think about though, she is the person I want for the rest of my life, do I have her as a friend, of course but I want more, I'm not going to betray axl either though, I want her but I'm not going to ruin a friendship basically over a girl, but she wasn't just "some girl" she was more than that.  In these types of situations I would either shoot up to get my mind off of it or write songs that have my pain and suffering in them, I might have to go with the second one. We need to start making more songs anyway for the band, we were starting to get more popular which is crazy, I thought we were just going to be a shitty LA band, I don't want to say we made it because we haven't yet, I'm honestly scared shitless if we do make it, I didn't like having attention in general, I don't wanna be like the stones, I thought this was just going to be a garage band if I'm being serious, I know we are getting some recognition, which is crazy we have only released one album, we have a bunch of songs already written, but I have been stuck in this one song, "don't cry" it means so much to me, it shows how much I love her, everything I feel about her, it's hard for me to talk about my emotions, but I could write them into lyrics, I want her to know how I feel, I'm going to write the full song tonight.

"Talk to me softly, there's something in your eyes, don't hang you're head in sorrow, and please don't cry, I know how you feel inside, I've been there before, something is changing inside you, and don't you know.? Don't cry tonight, I still love you, baby. Don't cry tonight." This was about my baby, I meant every word, I'm just going to tell axl it's about my ex girlfriend, I need to talk to him, i still haven't made up with him or even spoke to him, i have to tell him I'm over y/n. I grabbed my keys, I stepped out my front door, I saw axls car already there, "well hello axl." I spoke in surprise, why the hell was he here, "Izzy I came here to apologize, I'm still mad at you but, I can't hold a grunge against you, I can't act like I have been the best friend in the world, I just miss making music with you Izzy." He semi smiled as he looked up, I felt relief, "axl don't apologize I was being an asshole. I missed playing music too man." I said, leaning forward for a hug, he accepted and grabbed me by my back, "wanna come inside." I asked, he nodded his head, axl starting to walk in, I sat back down on my couch and grabbing the paper with the lyrics on it, he looked at me and gestured his hand to give him the paper, "no its not finished." I spoke grabbing my guitar off the stand, "does it look like a give a fuck, give me." He got closer to my face, "fuck off ax." I rolled my eyes, he turned on my amp for me, I plugged in my guitar, this feels like old times, we started this band, "well I need something to sing Izzy." He laughed grabbing a water bottle, he had a good point, "you may be right, take it." I gave him the crumbly paper, he smiled before standing up, "it's a softer song ax, maybe like this, talk to me softly, there's something in your eye." I sang a small bit of it, he looked at me surprised I didn't sing much, but when I really liked a song a would sing it to ax, he never judged. That's why I loved ax, "well this is different, but I will definitely do it, start playing your shit." He laughed before doing his little dance, I turned the knob on my guitar to turn the volume up, "talk to me softly.. there's something in your eyes, don't hang your head in sorrow, and please don't cry, I know how you feel inside, I've been there before, something is changing inside you and don't you know, don't cry tonight." We played the rest of the song I wrote down, "That rocks man." I said with a very happy expression, "it's a bit sappy and depressing Izzy." He laughed before sitting down as well as finishing his water bottle, "well it's better than shooting up axl, and I thought that was great." I said hanging my head down. "It did sound great iz, I'm just busting your balls." He said rubbing my shoulder, for some reason he was very comforting, very father like. He would be a great father.

𝐘/𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐯: I was home alone, well I was at axls, I have been here and my place back and forth, but axl just left I forced him to go to Izzy's and apologize, they haven't spoke in days. That never happens, they were best friends they always were together, I have had the best few days with axl. But I haven't stopped thinking about when me and Izzy kissed. I loved him so fucking much, but I don't know if I loved him in that way, I know I love axl. That's a fact, but Izzy has always been an idea in my mind. I always still think about if I chose him, where would I be now, I still feel guilty that I made Izzy feel that way as well, he put that he loved me in that way, I know he still wants me, I might as well but I can't. I know I love axl. Me and axl were doing so good currently we haven't been fighting nor having problems, we were so happy, being together. Doing couple shit. Cuddling while watching horror movies then having sex in the middle of the movie because we  got bored of the movie and we both weirdly got horny off gore. Fuck now I miss him, I want him to fuck the shit out of me now. I hope everything is going well.

It's been a hour they still weren't back. I'm glad that he was still there because that just means they were having a good time, if it was bad he would've been here already, I had to piss so bad. I walked over to the bathroom I sat down, I should be starting my period today, it's already a day late, I'm normally never late. Always the 19th of every month. I was never late, maybe one month out of the year, but it was already a day, it was night time. I started to worry, but I took a piss. No blood. Am I pregnant?

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟏𝟐𝟐𝟎

𝐈𝐬 𝐲/𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭? 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐱𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧?