Beyond Words

32. Engagement

Adaa POV

A loud noise of clapping echoed through the venue as I slid the ring on his finger. This feels so empty, yeah I am surrounded by the sounds of laughter, the essence of happiness, the brightness of smiles, heavy lehenga, vibrant colors, fresh flowers, holy mantras. But that numb feeling remains. 

It's not like I'm not happy, I don't like Vikram. He is the best anyone could ask for. A good person, a very good family, his love, is frictional, he respects, cares, makes you smile, understands you, he brings you flowers every day, can bake a cake with you, go picnics and watch any movie you suggest. He gave me a princess treatment, even though we were friends.

"I am here in front of you, no need to dream about me. Just tell me I will make them come true", He said nudging me with his shoulder and mischievous smile on his lips.
"hrmm, You two, romance later. now we have more things to do.", Leela was the first one to take a picture with us, with Leela on my side with her 4-month-old baby girl 'Chaitra', Ram on Virkarm's side.

The whole event went in peace but what would that leave you with, body pains, headache, and urge to rest? To see the best part, beautiful memories, a new start, and hope. Even on this hectic day, my eyes refused to close eyes, they always get lost in someone's thoughts, trying to relive the memories. It doesn't happen that frequently, but it triggered today because I saw him at my engagement. I don't know how he felt watching me there, but I felt as if the ground beneath my legs shook, my breath shortened for a second, I couldn't see anything other than him, all the noise that surrounded me was a blur, and I saw a glimpse of his smile, not like he always give to other, but the one only I can get, the rare genuine, breathtaking. 

But all it took was one blink he disappeared like he was an illusion. I was scared at the thought of damaging my brain but felt at peace when Ram and Leela said he did come. But why did he smile, is he ok with me getting married to someone else? Is he happy for me? Doesn't he feel jealous? Because I think I will still feel jealous if a girl talks to him. Why does he still have that effect on me? Adaa you should stop thinking about him, you are getting married in 10 days, and you are still stuck on him?

the sudden thud noise from the window had my heart beat at 100. 
"who's there? ", I got up from bed with a pen in my hand. I can see the shadow, before he can come forward I try to stab him with the pen. But he caught my wrist before I could, and then the fragrance worked like magic, I knew it, it was very familiar, Vishu's perfume.
"kyun aye ho yaha? (Why are you here?)", I removed my hand from him with a jerk.
"Thought you would be missing me, My cupcake", I couldn't move, his hands wrapping around me, his colon taking over my senses, that pet name, I felt home again. 
"No, I wasn't you can leave now", I tried to push him away.
"Let me be home for some time, Cupcake", He muttered in my neck, and I felt goosebumps rising on my skin.

"This isn't your home anymore, and my groom is sleeping next door.", I move out of his grip and move towards my bed. I wanted to do many things, I wanted to shout, scold, and beat him but it all went in when I heard him call me that stupid pet name. His voice worked like snow on lava. 
"So, you  love him now?" He sat at the edge of the bed. 
"Yes", my tone was sharp.
"But, if I ask for a second chance?", he is desperate. 
"I don't believe in second chances." I faced ceiling  
"Even when it's me?", his face was inches away from mine, his eyes searching for answers in my eyes.
"Why? So that someday you wake up and realize that it isn't for you. you realize that I wasn't the one you love, you realize that you still love her, maybe you realize that I wasn't like her and you feel 'Arey I made a mistake, she is not like my Piya'. ?", I can sense my voice cracking, eyes burning, throat pain with the amount of screaming I want to do but suppressing it with hushed voices.

"No... No..., Please", he rubbed my cheek and continued "I never meant to compare you both, and whatever moment we shared is ours, I did not think of you as anyone else. Trust me I don't know how to prove. please......please", he shook his head negatively.
"Nothing can change now. It's too late. Ghar jao Vishu (go home).", I turned opposite to him, covering myself with the blanket. 
"Tum ho meri ghar, Adaa.", he kissed my temple. I ignored him not wanting to let him know how his words affected me. After a good 5 minutes of silence, he left with a kiss on the temple muttering a good night.