Beyond Words

Bonus

Vishrut POV

No matter if everything is going well, there is a feeling, that I quite can't figure it out. It's a mixture of fear, happiness, anxiety, excitement. they are living rent-free in my body from the day she said, and they will continue to live till the end of her pregnancy.

How easily one says, 'She is pregnant', that one sentence has many underlying this, that so one prepares you for. The bodily changes, they say, but no one tells you, your breasts become tender to the point they ache, you can't massage them, yet you can't let them be like that. your swollen belly everyone knows but no one tells you how it feels to live with it, you can't be yourself, you can run, you can't dance jumping, you can't even sit the way you want, you sit slowly, you get up slowly, have you ever thought how can you squat down. 

Forget about sleep, because the moment your eyes think of shutting the baby decide differently, they need a specific angle, doesn't matter if your backbone supports it or not. When everything feels right and sleep is right at the corner of your eyes, the bladder wants to let the liquid out.

Hormonal changes, they say, but have you ever considered how it feels to experience two conflicting emotions simultaneously? You have an urge to cry watching them love you so much and be happy because you are loved so much. You feel thankful, for making your favorite food, and upset about being late. you get annoyed for always being watched and feel special for the care they show.

one time you want spicy, the next second sweet. one second you want your house to be tidy and the next second you feel annoyed for having nothing to organize. Your nose wants another food, your stomach wants another. 

The feeling together overwhelms you and messes up with your brain. Your dresses, hair, and skin disown you, they become tight, hair as always falls for you leaving you, and skin becomes either tender or rough. 

Pregnancy is not easy.

We are forgetting about the permanent changes it leaves you with. The scars on your body parts like stomach, and thighs, loose muscles, saggy breasts. And a whole lot of insecurities. The imprint of their(baby's) existence in your brain cells. you naturally lose your memory power after the child's birth. They are also the reason for mothers being emotional, whenever they watch their children the imprint in their brain just revokes the emotional part.

Delivery is the second birth to the mother and the first to the baby.

I have heard all of them, from Nidhi, but Now I am watching my wife go through all of them. She is currently in her 10th month, yes the month of her delivery. That's why she is in her mother's home, with Dev. 

I practically forced her, because she was behaving stubbornly on living here on her own. She agreed on one condition, that I come to visit her every day. It takes half an hour to drive there, and I would jump into her room through the window. It has now become my routine for 3 weeks, and spending my weekends and leisure time with them. 

Now it has become a habit, caressing her bump, and talking to baby, to which she replies with her feet kicking. I can already tell how much she loves, me and her big brother. Whenever we play before her, she kicks vigorously, as if she is playing along, and calms down whenever I or Dev go near her and rub her mother's belly.

Dev has been an absolutely perfect big brother, he would massage his mother's legs, watching me. he picks whatever that's on the floor, and gives it to Adaa. he wipes his mother's tears, coos sweet things, and tries to narrate the story that I said as his bedtime story.

I never thought my life could be this beautiful and meaningful, every time I wake up and see them on my bed sleeping so peacefully, my heart swells up with love and happiness. All I want to do is to cherish this time, these moments that I could spend with them.