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“Do you think..I did what I did because I thought..mahina siya?”
“Do you think..I did not drag her in my situation because..I did not really see her as a partner?”
“Do you think..I made the murder cases as an excuse so I could end it between us..without her knowing?”
Alas-otso palang ng gabi. Tatlong bote na ng matatapang na alak ang nainom ni Alice. Pulang-pula na ang mga mata niya dahil sa kaiiyak. Sa matinding kirot at kalungkutan ay parang taon na ang nagdaan. Niloloko niya lang ang sarili niya sa mga tanong niya sa kanyang kaibigan. Dahil hindi sana siya nasasaktan ng ganito ngayon kung hindi naman totoo ang nararamdaman niya para sa babae.
“I failed in so many ways. I am a failure.”
“Alice, you know, Theresia is right about your actions. I am not saying this to exacerbate your self-destructive behavior (like this; drinking; has been going on for three weeks) and make your internal conflict more complicated…”
“..She’s hurt, and you negate her own capabilities, man, she’s one hell of a respected and well-known Senator! Now I’m starting to blame you, but who would get the benefits of the blame, anyway? None. So, I won’t…”
“..Trust is the foundation of love, as they say. Yet you solely relied on your capabilities. What I am trying to say is it’s truly unfair to her side. I know she shares everything with you—stories, problems, and concerns, especially those funny stories, I know it because you share it with me too. And you were so happy and excited and your eyes smiled whenever you spoke of her name. You may have lied to her—many times—but your eyes when you see her, they never lie. You indeed love her; I am not joking, it’s just that you’ve viewed the situation quite opposite to how she viewed the situation…”
“..You cannot invalidate her point because in every aspect you cannot tell her she’s wrong. Therese is always right, man. It’s your fault, if you’d only been open to her. We wouldn’t be here. She’s probably in front of you at the moment, not me.”
“Edi tama siyang hindi kami dapat para sa isa’t isa? We have so much indifference. Hindi ko kaya, Jaira. Nasasaktan din naman ako. Hindi na ba niya ako mapapatawad?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“Ikaw nasa harap ko.”
“Hay nako, you’re hammered, Alice. Matulog ka na.”
“I failed in so many ways!”
“Try and try again with her, if you can. But, first and foremost, deal with these demons inside your head. It won’t help. For now, rest and sleep, Alice.”
“Gusto ko siyang..gusto kong kumain. Kain muna ako. Do we have a cake?” Pinatong ni Alice ang baso sa tabi niya at kinamay ang kimchi at sisig sa harap niya.
“Yea, really hammered. Would you still like the cake? Kukuha ako.” Nagtungo si Jaira sa fridge at naglabas ng keyk.
“Thank you.”
“Bukas samahan mo ako, ah. Liz.”
“Saan?”
“Commencement exercises ng La Salle, graduation ng kapatid ko. Sabi mo sasamahan mo ako.”
“Okay, will do.”
“You know what, Alice, what do you need to do to be able to get closer to her again?”
“Redundancy. Four tos’ but go on.” Bigla itong nasamid sa kanyang kinakain. Dinampot niya ang baso ng alak niya at ginawang tubig.
“Fuck you. Change!”
BINABASA MO ANG
ALIBI
FanfictionHow are you supposed to believe in someone who made you as her alibi? A Senator has undertaken herself into a romantic affair with a person of interest and a national threat to her own country.
