treat you better // pedri

forty three

"What's up with you, you haven't talked at all since the match began." Nico says as he bumps my shoulder.

"Just focusing." I mumble as I watch Lewandowski set the ball down for a penalty.

"Right, because I definitely believe that." He scoffs as I give him a look before cheering fills the stadium from the conversion of the penalty.

"I can't just watch the match in silence?" I ask as he shakes his head no.

"No because you're usually the first to start yelling or cheering, so something happened." He says as I frown.

"Damn passion for football." I mumble as he begins laughing.

"I'm just saying that's how you normally are, so the fact that isn't happening is a bit concerning." He says as my eyes land on Pedri as he's waiting for kickoff.

"Just nervous for Pedri." I lie as he shrugs.

"He's been doing good though, so I don't think there's that much of an issue." He says as I tap my leg a few times.

"Hopefully not." I say as Pedri looks over in our direction and he gives me a quick nod and I repeat his actions.

"My dad likes him a lot, but I mean you already know that since you talk to him too." He shrugs as I nod.

"I feel like he is really likable though, so it's not that surprising." I say as kick off begins again and I cross my legs.

The rest of the match went by fairly quick, the guys winning 2-1, both goals scored by Lewandowski. I still didn't really talk most of the match because I can't stop thinking about what Pedri said.

If he didn't realize he said it, then clearly it was an accident. So if it's an accident he most likely didn't mean it, meaning Jude was right.

I still haven't talked to Jude since we were in Italy, but to be honest, I miss him. I've been a bit distracted with Pedri here and he's helped keep my mind off him, but at the same time he's not Jude. No one can replace him, because quite frankly there were more positives than negatives in our friendship.

That dumb kiss ruined everything between us.

We were in a state where I was essentially oblivious to how he was treating me, but I didn't care because we were still close. I couldn't care less about being treated like shit as long as I still had him.

And now I don't have him.

Pedri kept saying it's a good thing that I'm not a part of a toxic relationship like that anymore, but now I don't even know what to believe.

Maybe he accidentally said it because he's been thinking it, or maybe the one thing I was scared of is happening.

This is why I don't get attached.

I had my own rules for myself and I ignored it.

I fucking ignored it.

"Mae are you riding with Pedri? Or are you coming back to the house with us?" Daria asks as I snap out of my thoughts.

"Oh I'll ride with you guys." I say as I get up and Nico furrows his eyebrows.

"No can do, you're riding with Pedri." He says as I give him a look.

"You can't decide for me." I mumble as he shrugs.

"I won't let you in my car, get a ride from your boyfriend." Nico says as he begins walking up the steps and I look at Daria as she shrugs.

"I don't know honestly." She mutters as she follows behind him and I sit back down in my seat as I cross my arms.

After about ten minutes of watching the team celebrate on the pitch Pedri comes over to me, leaning against the railing, "you coming back with me?" He asks as I shrug.

"Seems it." I say as he furrows his eyebrows slightly.

"Do you want to come to my place or should we go to yours?" He asks as I begin picking at my nails, but my attention is still on him.

"I'm fine with either." I reply as his eyes quickly go to my hands before he clears his throat.

"Which do you prefer?"

"I don't care, I'm fine with either." I say again as he clicks his tongue.

"Right then." He says as he taps the railing, "do you want to meet at my car? You'll see it when you're out there."

"Mhmm." I hum as I stand up.

I make my way through the stadium, out to the parking lot and once I finally get out there Pedri is leaning against his car, "I thought I'd beat you." I say as he opens the door for me.

"Had to go fast so I could open the door for you." He shrugs as I get in the car, "watch your legs." He adds quietly before he shuts the door.

I buckle my seatbelt and rest my elbow against the door as he gets in, "we can go to your house." I say as he nods.

"Sounds good." He replies as he begins the drive to his house.

No words were exchanged all the way back to his house and once we get there we go inside and as I shut the door he gives me a look, "what?" I ask.

"Are we okay? What happened earlier, you were off as soon as you left." He says as I shake my head.

"We're good." I say as he sighs.

"Solis, what did I say that was a big deal? You said I said something, so what was it?" He asks as I pull out a stool, sitting on it.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about some stuff and I must've gotten confused." I say as he comes over to me.

"I'm not buying that." He says quietly.

"I didn't think it'd actually happen to me, like I knew I was scared of it, but I really thought it'd be different." I say as he furrows his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about?" He questions as I shake my head.

"Pedri." I say as he runs his hands through his hair.

"I fucking love you, is that what you wanted me to say? Your reaction scared me so I skipped over it, but god, I wouldn't lie about something like that, especially with what's happened in your past." He says as I play with my bracelet.

"I don't know what to say." I respond as he sighs, sitting on the stool next to me.

"You giving me the bracelet, I think that's when I fell in love with you. It sounds so dumb because you probably didn't think much of it when you got it, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. You told me about something you wore and when I said I liked it, you went out of your way to get me one." He explains as I furrow my eyebrows, "and I picked up your habit of playing with the charm because I pay attention to you, every small thing, I've been paying attention."

I open my mouth to say something but I immediately shake my head, "I can't say it back." I whisper as he begins slowly nodding his head.

"It's okay." He responds quietly as I tap my leg a few times.

"If I say it back then it gives you the opportunity to walk out, I know you wouldn't but deep down there's a rooted fear that it'll happen. Not just from you, from anyone." I say.

"It's okay Maeve, when I began dating you I knew about all of it, so this isn't something to feel bad about. I knew what I was getting myself into, and it was every aspect of your life, the good and the bad." He whispers as I stand up, taking a step closer to him as I wrap my arms around him in a hug, "I'm going to keep saying it though." He adds.

"I figured." I say as I take a deep breath, "I'm sorry." I add as he rubs my back.

"Don't be sorry." He whispers.

"I don't deserve you."