Lucille in Stars Hollow

Burdens

 "Why so starry eyed?" Lorelai asked the next morning.

I gaped and ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror. My eyes were bright and I had a dreamy look on my face. When I cam back out, I shrugged. "I don't know."

Rory scoffed. "Yeah right." I glared at her to stop, but she ignored my look and turned to Lorelai. "She went on her picnic date with Jess."

The way she said it sounded like a slur, but I knew she didn't mean it.

"Oh," Lorelai said. I could hear the disappointment. You know, Rory once told me that we had to keep each other's secrets. Clearly she didn't stick by it.

"What? What's wrong with him?" I snapped. "C'mon, I know you're thinking something." Lorelai kept quiet. "Is it that he doesn't do good in school? That he's rude?" She was still quiet.

"You know what it is? It's that I don't think he's a good influence." That basically covered the things I listened before.

"Well, maybe I need a bad influence in my life."

Lorelai shook her head. "I know he has that bad boy appeal, but trust me, he's not someone you want to be with."

I looked down. "Well, I don't feel like taking love advice from someone who can't keep a boyfriend." As soon as the words left my tongue, I wished I could take them back.

I finally looked up at Lorelai, who's eyes were on fire, but her tone was soft when she said, "I know you don't mean that."

I went to my room and slammed the door behind me.

I didn't know what I meant anymore

"Any moment now, Baby," Lisa said to her stomach. She was due in a week and hadn't been at school for the past few, forcing me to hang out with Lane (not that I don't love Lane) and avoid Leo alone.

"I don't think it can hear you, Lisa," I monotoned, flipping through my book for greek mythology class.

"Don't rain on my parade. In less than a week, I'm going to be squeezing a human being out through my body. Let me have my fun."

"Okay," I resigned.

As my best friend continued to talk to her stomach, I got up from my couch and went to the kitchen to get some food. My heart stopped. And the heart attack, dying kind of stop.

"What the fuck are you doing here," I hissed at Leo through the screen on my back door.

"Lucy, I—!"

"No. What the actual fuck are you doing here. Are you stalking me?" The words came out more like a whimper, because I was fucking terrified right now.

"I'm not stalking you," Leo promised, holding up his hands, "I just want to talk."

"Leo, I gave you plenty of time to talk before and what I heard was a bunch of apologies that didn't amount to much. So, now, get off my fucking porch before I call the cops. Actually, I don't need to call the cops. All I need to do is call for Lisa, who is in the next room," I gestured, "and she will come and beat your ass. Do not mess with her right now."

Leo began to stammer something, but I wouldn't let him. "Now!" I screamed, pointing a finger out into the distance.

As he left, I began to shake. What did he want from me that he hadn't already said or done?

"What was that?" Lisa asked as I entered the room again.

"Nothing," I sighed. "Just yelling at a cat."