Fracture

CHAPTER FIFTY ONE

☆ ♫ Patrick ♫ ☆

Since I had left Scarlett's house in the early hours of the morning I had yet to see her.

Or speak to her.

I knew she wanted space, and I knew Gibsie wanted space. And as long as Gibsie wanted space Scarlett would respect that.

I had been pacing around all night and morning, unable to take my mind off anything but Scarlett.

My stomach churned every time I thought of what she went through at such a young age. It wasn't fucking fair.

And to think she didn't believe she deserved justice.

Considering my pacing, my mam had forced me out of the house and I was now seated on the Biggs footpath, alongside Claire.

She was the only one who I could truly relate to. Knowing the people we loved were in that house going through shit made us come together.

We watched as another Garda was ushered
into the house by Sadhbh.

"That one is the detective inspector," Shannon handed Claire and I each a mug of hot chocolate before sitting next to Claire, "I met him once when he was working on my family's case. He's one of the few I actually liked."

I nodded before looking back towards the house. When the curtains of Gibsie's room flung open, my heart accelerated, praying Scarlett might appear in the window.

But it was only Johnny.

"I should be with them," Claire spoke.

"I know it feels that way, but the kind of questions the detectives have to ask them wouldn't be good for you to hear. And it wouldn't be good for them to know you heard it."

She was right.
Knowing all the details would make me feel even more distraught. But I wanted so badly to be there for Scarlett.

"But Johnny gets to stay," Claire frowned, "I'm their best friend too."

I understood Claire's point of view but at the same time she was the one to out Gibsie.

"Yes, and I know that's not easy for you when you want to be there so badly for them," Shannon wrapped an arm around Claire, "But Johnny is the only one Gibsie wants to see right now. And Scarlett will do anything in her power to protect him. So, we have to respect their wishes."

"I love him, Shan," Claire began to cry, "And I love her. I need them to be okay."

Shannon and I nodded.

"I'm sorry for how it came out but I'm not sorry that it came out," Claire chewed on her lip, "Does that make me a bad person?"

"No," I spoke up, "But they both need time to process this. Their world was just flipped upside down."

"Patience," Shannon added on, "You need to give them time. It takes a long time to get to that point, Claire. It's not so easy for everyone. There's trauma in their past, and right now they are living in it. Scarlett will forgive you and Gibsie will find his way to you."

"Like you found your way to Johnny?"

"Yes," Shannon nodded, "But it didn't happen overnight, and I am so grateful that he had the ability to be patient with me. To show me that love can be kind and patient and everything I had never experienced before. Because I was so desperate to keep him out back then."

My attention was fully on Shannon because in a way that reminded me of Scarlett. She had shut me out, refusing to open up.

"Why?" I asked in unison with Claire.

"Because I didn't want him to see the ugly in me and turn and run."

I let her words sink in. I was sure that's how Scarlett had felt.

She was scared I'd run when I'd really been so persistent on staying. I would never have ran, I was willing to stay no matter what.

"You've never been ugly a day in your life," Claire said, "Not on the inside or the out."

"I appreciate you saying that, Claire, but that's how it felt. I truly couldn't get past my...well, my past. It took a lot of time and coaxing and gentle persuasion. Broken people don't display the same traits. Look at me and Joey. We couldn't be more different in our approach to life if we tried. Look at Ollie and Sean. Hell, look at Scarlett and Gibsie. We've all lived through trauma but approach life with completely different perspectives."

"I don't want to be patient," Claire admitted, "All I want to do is charge in that door and fix it for him. To make everything better."

"I feel you," I nodded.

"You can't," Shannon replied in an understanding tone, "You guys can't fix them or make it better. They have to do it for themselves."

"But it hurts so bad to see them hurting," Claire frowned.

"I feel helpless," I sighed, "Like I can't do anything to make her feel better."

"I know," Shannon agreed, "And it's the helplessness that hurts the most."

"Yeah," Claire sighed.

"You can help them by staying," Aoife, Shannon's older brother's girlfriend, appeared in front of us.

"Staying?" Claire asked for the both of us.

"And by hanging in there," Aoife confirmed, "And by trusting that the people beneath the broken can find their way out of the darkness. It's not easy. It hurts like hell, and you'll want to run for the hills at times. And they will push away to the point where you doubt your sanity. But your ability to love them through it is what will make the difference. Because, at the end of the day, that's all we can do." She sighed, "We love them with our whole hearts and pray that they'll pick themselves back up and show us that they are worth the pain. That they're worth fighting for."

She was right. Everything Scarlett and I had gone through—the hurt, the heartbreak, the sadness—she was worth it all. I had never doubted that.

And I knew Scarlett would get through this. She was strong and she was resilient. She'd shown that time and time again.

So as much as I wanted to break down the door and save her, I trusted she could save herself.

Because that's what Scarlett had always done.

And I'd be here waiting for her when she was ready.

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guys i spent five hours studying for my exam and then was like: no i need to write about them.

i tried to lock in but im locked out :(((

anyways manifest a good mark because what even is pathophysiology

love you

xoxo

-F