SEVENTEEN | SICKFICS - HURTFICS I

Seungkwan | Suicide Attempt - Bleach

Hi! How are you?

As you go into this chapter, I want to take a moment to acknowledge that this may contain themes that could be triggering for some. It’s important to prioritize your well-being, so please take care of yourself while reading.

If you are experiencing mental health struggles, I strongly encourage you to seek help. Reaching out to a friend, loved one, or a professional can provide support when you need it most.

Remember, it's perfectly okay to pause or skip ahead if you feel overwhelmed. Your comfort and safety are my top priorities, and I appreciate your understanding.

Please don't relate this in real life. Separate fiction from reality.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Seungkwan of Seventeen had always been a beacon of light. His laughter could brighten the darkest days, and his vocals resonated with warmth and sincerity. However, the glitz and glamour came with a price.

One afternoon, after a successful concert, Seungkwan sat backstage scrolling through his phone. He had just shared a post thanking the fans for their support, excitedly sharing how much their love meant to him. But as he flipped through the comments, a chill ran down his spine. What started as an outpouring of love quickly turned sour.

"Why is he always so loud?" "He can't sing as well as the others." "Just stick to the background." The comments sliced through him like knives, each one heavy with disdain. He had seen his share of hate before, but this felt different—more personal, more biting.

Days turned into weeks, and the weight of those words began to settle on his shoulders. Seungkwan tried to brush it off, to remind himself that the support from his members and true fans outweighed the negativity.

But late at night, when the world was quiet and the lights dimmed, he found himself staring at the ceiling, replaying those hurtful words over and over in his mind.

His members noticed the change. The once-bubbly Seungkwan now wore a mask of forced smiles, and his laughter felt hollow. Hoshi, ever the attentive member, pulled him aside one day. "Kwan, we've all seen what's been said. You know it's not true, right?"

Seungkwan forced a smile, nodding. "Of course hyung. I'm fine."

But deep down, he was battling a storm. He felt isolated, like he was walking through shadows while everyone else basked in the light. He found himself avoiding social media, retreating from the very thing that had once brought him joy. Instead, he sought solace in late-night practice sessions, pouring his heart into every note and every dance move, hoping to find some semblance of peace.

Days turned into weeks, and despite the support he had received, Seungkwan fell into a deeper silence. He smiled for the cameras and laughed with his members, but inside, he felt like a ghost. The burden of unkind words lingered like a shadow, clouding his thoughts and draining his energy.

His members, busy with schedules and performances, didn't notice the subtle shifts. They saw the occasional frown or the way he would zone out during practice, but they attributed it to exhaustion. Seungkwan became an expert at hiding his struggles behind a facade of cheerfulness, even as his heart grew heavier.

In the evenings, when they gathered to unwind, Seungkwan often excused himself, claiming he needed rest. The truth was, he found it hard to be around the laughter and joy that he once cherished. He feared that if he let them see his pain, they would worry or, worse, pity him.

Still, there were moments when the weight of his emotions felt too great to bear. Alone in his room, he would scroll through social media, battling the urge to read comments that only fueled his insecurity. Each notification felt like a reminder of the pain he was trying to escape.