"The Kim Dynasty: Secrets of the Heart"

61

Chapter 61: Hidden Shadows

The clock struck 2 a.m. as Namjoon quietly entered their home, his body weary from the long hours spent at the office. He was surprised to see Jin waiting for him at the dining table, looking as radiant as ever despite the late hour. A soft smile crept onto Namjoon’s face, warmth flooding his heart. Even after everything, Jin always waited for him, offering comfort like no one else could.

"You're still up?" Namjoon asked, his voice soft with affection.

Jin smiled, standing up to warm the dinner he had prepared earlier. "I couldn't sleep without you here," he replied, his words wrapped in love.

Namjoon felt the warmth of Jin's devotion settle in his chest as he headed off to refresh himself. Moments later, they sat down together, enjoying a quiet dinner. Namjoon cherished these moments, where he could forget the world outside and just be with Jin.

But tonight, something different lingered in the air. Jin’s usual calm seemed tinged with unease. As they made their way to the bedroom, Jin knew he couldn't wait any longer. He had to ask before he forgot. Clearing his throat gently, he spoke up.

"Namjoon, can I ask you something?"

Namjoon looked at him, his brow furrowing slightly. "Of course, baby. What’s on your mind?"

Jin took a deep breath before he spoke. “I’ve noticed something… every night before bed, you take a pill. And today, while you were at work, I checked. It’s a sleeping pill.” His voice trembled slightly, concern filling his words. “Namjoon, those pills can harm your health. Why do you need them?”

Namjoon froze, the question hitting him harder than he had expected. His mind raced, and for a moment, he couldn’t find his words. “How… how do you know about that?”

“I see you take them every night,” Jin answered quietly. “I’m worried about you.”

Namjoon sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck. This was the last conversation he wanted to have. He had carefully kept Jin away from the dark parts of his life, determined to protect him from the shadows that haunted his nights.

“There are things, Jin,” Namjoon began, his voice low, “things that can haunt a person at night. I need those pills to sleep. I can’t function without them.”

Jin frowned, stepping closer to Namjoon, his hands reaching out to hold his. “But Namjoon, those pills can hurt you in the long run. They’re not a solution. Please… just talk to me. We can figure something else out.”

Namjoon pulled his hands away, shaking his head. “You don’t understand. I’ve been taking them for years now. I can’t just stop.”

Jin, ever the gentle soul, pressed on. “Namjoon, you can share your pain with me. We share everything else—our happiness, our love, our dreams. Why not your darkness too? Let me help you.”

Namjoon’s expression darkened, his patience fraying. “I don’t want you involved in that part of my life, Jin,” he snapped. “I don’t want your purity to be tainted by the things I’ve been through. The past is the past. Leave it there.”

“But you’re still carrying it with you,” Jin insisted, his voice soft but firm. “I can see it in your eyes every night. You don’t have to bear it alone.”

Namjoon’s frustration boiled over, and he snapped, his voice sharp and angry. “I said, don’t interfere in my life, Jin! This is my problem, not yours.”

The room fell silent. Jin’s eyes widened in shock, too stunned to speak. His heart ached at Namjoon’s harsh tone, the hurtful words cutting deeper than any wound. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he held them back, refusing to let them fall. He knew Namjoon was hurting, and though the words stung, Jin couldn’t bring himself to be angry.

Namjoon, on the other hand, immediately regretted his outburst. He could see the pain he had caused, but his pride—and his fear of exposing too much—kept him from apologizing. With a frustrated sigh, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Jin alone.

Jin stood there, staring at the door long after Namjoon had left. The tears that had threatened to spill finally fell, but they weren’t tears of anger. Jin understood. He knew Namjoon had lived a life far darker than his own, and the weight of that life still clung to him, even after all these years. But what broke Jin’s heart was knowing that Namjoon didn’t trust him enough to share that burden.

He wiped his tears away and sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to calm his racing thoughts. Namjoon had always been so strong, so stoic, that it was easy to forget he carried scars that ran deep. But Jin also knew that shutting him out wouldn’t solve anything. Namjoon needed to understand that he didn’t have to face his demons alone.

As Jin sat in the quiet, he made a decision. He wasn’t going to give up on Namjoon. He wasn’t going to let this distance come between them. Namjoon needed love, even if he didn’t know how to ask for it.

Meanwhile, Namjoon stood on the balcony, the cold night air biting at his skin. His chest was tight, his mind swirling with guilt and frustration. He hated himself for snapping at Jin. Jin didn’t deserve that—he never did. But Namjoon’s past was something he had buried deep, and the idea of bringing Jin into that darkness terrified him.

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm the storm inside. After a few minutes, he turned and headed back inside, determined to fix things. When he walked into the room, he saw Jin still sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes red and puffy from crying.

Without a word, Namjoon crossed the room and sat beside him. He reached out, gently taking Jin’s hand in his.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Jin looked at him, his eyes filled with sadness but also understanding. “I just want to help, Namjoon. You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”

Namjoon nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I know. I’m just… scared. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Jin leaned his head against Namjoon’s shoulder, their hands still intertwined. “You won’t. We’re in this together, remember?”

Namjoon sighed, resting his head against Jin’s. “I’ll try, Jin. I’ll try to let you in.”

And in that quiet moment, with the night still and peaceful around them, Namjoon realized that maybe—just maybe—he didn’t have to face his darkness alone anymore.