Captive

Chapter 38

Wound

Jeff stared at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes hollow, the weight of everything crushing him from the inside. His wrist throbbed, tightly wrapped in a bandage, a stark reminder of his earlier desperation. The thought of his baby gone, the love he thought he had with Bible shattered, and his strained relationship with Mile weighed on him.

He had been so tired-so tired of being a burden, of not being enough, of losing everything and everyone that mattered. His parents had long stopped caring, and now, he was certain even Mile was exhausted from trying to save him.

Jeff's hand trembled as he touched the bandage, the ache of it pulling him back to that moment, when he thought ending it all would be easier than facing the emptiness that surrounded him.

"Why am I still here?" he whispered to himself, his voice barely audible over the sound of his own breathing. "What's left?"

A knock on the door startled him, pulling him out of his thoughts. Jeff didn't answer, assuming it was just a nurse or someone checking in. But the door creaked open slowly, and there was Mile, standing in the doorway, his face filled with a mixture of exhaustion and worry.

"Jeff," Mile's voice was soft, but the weight of it made Jeff's heart sink. He didn't want to face him, didn't want to see the disappointment in his brother's eyes.

"Phi..." Jeff's voice cracked, tears threatening to spill as he struggled to find the words. He looked away, ashamed. "I... I'm sorry. I... I didn't know what else to do."

Mile walked in, shutting the door behind him, and crossed the room slowly. He knelt in front of Jeff, his hand resting gently on Jeff's knee, his eyes searching Jeff's face. "You don't have to apologize. You don't have to explain. But, Jeff... why did you try to end yourself ?"

Jeff's shoulders shook as the tears finally came, his body wracked with sobs. "I didn't want to be a burden anymore. I thought... I thought you'd be better off without me. I've lost everything, Mile. I'm lost. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending that I'm okay."

Mile's grip tightened on Jeff's knee, his voice breaking. "You're not a burden, Jeff. You've never been a burden. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. But don't you dare think that I'd be better off without you. You're my brother. You're all I have."

Jeff shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "I've lost the baby. Bible doesn't love me. Mom and Dad... they don't care. What's the point, Phi? What am I even living for?"

Mile's eyes softened, his own emotions threatening to spill over. He took Jeff's bandaged wrist gently in his hand, his thumb brushing over the fabric. "You're living for yourself, Jeff. You're living because your life matters, even if it doesn't feel that way right now."

Jeff looked down at his wrist, guilt and shame swirling in his chest. "I don't know how to move on from this. From any of this."

"You don't have to figure it all out right now," Mile whispered, pulling Jeff into a tight embrace. "We'll take it one day at a time, okay? Together. I'm not going anywhere, Jeff. I'll always be here for you."

Jeff buried his face in Mile's shoulder, his body trembling as he let himself cry, finally allowing the weight of everything to pour out. "I'm so sorry, Phi. I'm sorry for everything."

Mile held him closer, his own tears falling silently. "Don't apologize, Jeff. I've got you. We'll get through this."

For the first time in days, Jeff felt a flicker of hope. It was small, fragile, but it was there. And maybe that was enough to hold onto-for now.

That night, the hospital room was dimly lit, shadows dancing along the walls as the soft hum of machines filled the silence. Jeff lay in bed, the bandage on his wrist a stark reminder of the day's turmoil. As he drifted into a fitful sleep, he felt a strange sense of peace enveloping him, knowing Mile was nearby.

But that peace shattered when he felt the air shift, a familiar presence in the room. His heart raced, and he opened his eyes to find Bible standing at the foot of his bed, silhouetted against the faint light. Bible's expression was unreadable, a mixture of longing and desperation, and it sent a jolt of anxiety through Jeff.

"Bible," Jeff said, his voice hoarse from sleep. He pushed himself up slightly, but the heaviness of his heart weighed him down. "What are you doing here?"

Bible stepped closer, his eyes searching Jeff's face, taking in the bruised emotions and vulnerability. "I just wanted to see you. I had to-"

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't be here," Jeff interrupted, his voice steady despite the tremor of fear coursing through him. "You'd respect my decision to stay away."

Bible's jaw clenched, and he shook his head slowly, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. "I can't just walk away from you, Jeff. I care about you too much."

"Caring isn't enough!" Jeff's voice rose, desperation creeping in as he felt his resolve begin to waver. "You don't understand. You've hurt me more than I can say. I can't keep pretending that everything is okay when it's not."

"Please, just listen to me," Bible said, his tone pleading. "I made mistakes, I know that, but you have to believe I want what's best for you. I want to be there for you."

"And what does that mean, Bible?" Jeff's eyes burned with unshed tears as he met Bible's gaze head-on. "Does it mean using me again? Manipulating me? I won't be a pawn in your game anymore."

Bible's face fell, hurt flashing in his eyes. "You're not a pawn. You're everything to me. I never wanted to hurt you, Jeff."

"Then stay away," Jeff said firmly, his voice shaking. "I need time to heal, to figure this out on my own. I can't have you hovering over me, reminding me of what I've lost. It's too painful."

"Is that what you really want?" Bible asked, his voice almost a whisper, filled with uncertainty. "To push me away for good?"

Jeff felt a lump form in his throat. "I don't know what I want anymore. All I know is that I need space. I need to find myself again. Please, just go."

For a moment, Bible stood there, his expression a mixture of anguish and understanding. He took a step back, the weight of Jeff's words hanging heavily in the air. "If that's what you truly need, I'll respect it. But know this, Jeff: I'm not giving up on you. I'll always be here, waiting."

Jeff turned away, the tears finally spilling over as he fought against the ache in his heart. "Just go," he whispered, his voice breaking.

Bible hesitated at the door, torn between the urge to stay and the necessity to respect Jeff's wishes. He turned back for one last look, his heart aching at the sight of Jeff's tear-streaked face, vulnerable and lost.

"Jeff," he said softly, stepping forward just enough to bridge the distance between them. "I'm sorry for everything."

Jeff looked up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Just... please go. I need time."

With a heavy heart, Bible nodded, knowing he had to honor Jeff's request. But before he turned away, he leaned in slightly, pressing a gentle kiss to Jeff's forehead-a tender, lingering touch filled with all the love and regret he couldn't fully express.

"Take care of yourself," Bible whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I'll be waiting for you."

Jeff closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of that fleeting moment, knowing it was likely the last time they would share such closeness for a while. "leave "

With that, Bible stepped back, his heart heavy as he walked out of the room, leaving Jeff to face the quiet solitude of his thoughts. The door clicked shut behind him, sealing their fate for the time being, while Jeff clung to the memory of that soft kiss-a bittersweet reminder of the love that once was.